Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hilarious Blog Post Inspires Blog Post

I love the Daddy blog, Poop and Boogies. I really enjoy reading about family life through the eyes of the man. Yesterday I popped over to see if he had anything new up and read this post. I about busted a gut when he mentioned that he puts on his pants if he and his wife are arguing and it is that statement that has inspired this post.
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Mr. Poop and Boogies is so right about disagreements/arguments starting in the bedroom because that is when you are alone and most often able to speak openly if you have children... or as in our case now, and have a parent living with you.
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Why did his statement about having to put on pants amuse me so? Because I have to have on a bra. In fact, a big clue for Mr. Macchiato that I am mad is I change into my jammies in the bathroom with the door shut. And if I'm really mad... I've even been known to climb into bed fully clothed, and I'm talking jeans. It must be a vulnerability thing.
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People are strange... we really are not all that different when you think about it.
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That got me thinking about other things I do and wondering if other women do the same sort of stuff. Like, for instance, if I'm really mad about something and am going to let Mr. Macchiato have it... I dress in something I know he really likes and do the best job I can on my make-up and hair. I know well after nearly 25 years with this man as a part of my life that he's much more apt to being sorry if I look and smell good. Those arguments that sneak up on us when I haven't showered and am wearing mismatched clothes or holey sweats and am just out and out ugly don't go so well. Not. At. All.
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I'm pretty passive aggressive. I don't do well with direct conflict at all. In fact, I don't talk and squeeze my eyes shut tight when we argue. I can honestly fall asleep in the middle of an argument. This drives Mr. Macchiato CRAZY! I choose to do things like... not lay out his clothes the next day or iron his shirts so he goes to work looking like a bum (he can't match stuff and never gives himself enough time to iron something himself). Or make him a lunch. Or dinner. Or do his laundry. If I'm really pissed I'll lay out dirty underwear. Sometimes one of those is his only indication that I'm upset about something. It's bad if he gets it all at the same time.
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Of course, there are the times I blow up. Interestingly, he responds to that more favorably but I just can't do that all the time. It takes too much out of me to get to that point. It always amazes me when he starts chuckling when I've gone off the deep end. I buy myself a one way ticket to cRaZy Town and... he laughs.
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My ability to communicate is a bit of an illusion. In person I can relay past events and the feelings behind them after I've worked through them. I've never been able to speak about the things bothering me while they are bothering me. Well, not without great difficulty and pain on my part. As a child I started writing and tried to communicate that way but that doesn't go over with people that want to talk things out. Thankfully, Mr. Macchiato got to where he understood and accepted that about me and while there are still times when he wants me to talk, he also has the ability to ask me to write him a letter the next day. He's a really good guy. A total keeper.
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Today is our 22nd Wedding Anniversary. It is something I'm very proud of. We've had to work hard and through a lot of crap over the years. There have been times when we've both been ready to throw in the towel... thankfully, never at the same time. We fight. We make up. We fight again. I like him. I love him. I hate him. And then I love him again. We are best friends, lovers, and sometimes enemies. I'm so glad I said yes to that first date. In so doing, I stepped onto this roller coaster ride we call our life and I wouldn't change it for anything.
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I love you Mr. Macchiato. Happy Anniversary!

12 comments:

Angela said...

Happy Anniversary you beautiful couple you...Thanks so much for sharing the link. Went to his blog...oh my,,loved it..

Came back here..Read your post..had me cracking up..Picturing you in my mind..LOL..I cracked up (well I cracked up on most of it girl...) when you fall asleep in the middle of the argument,,LOL....lol. I'm laughing (quietly,,everyone is sleeping and my body is shaking with laughter,lol)as I type this..

Thanks for the giggles,,and also for letting me be a part of your special day today...Love ya girl

WILLIAM said...

Happy Anniversary. Thanks for the link.

I do think it is a vulnerability thing.

Paula said...

Happy Anniversary!! I can so relate to this post, except the parts about being dressed or made up...but thanks for the tip :) I can see how I could much better get my point across by looking my best, lol. I'm gonna try that one next time.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

Happy Anniversary to you both!
Love and hugs

Kathy said...

Happy Anniversary! I also love Poop and Boogies Blog! This one of yours is great, "lay out dirty underwear"! how deliciously wicked! I am more 'right there in your face' when angry; get it done over with and move on. However, my cowboy is NEVER angry outloud, we are still working this one out. Maybe he'd like to write me letters....

Oklahoma Granny said...

Happy Anniversary!

I've slept on the couch many times because I was really mad and when I'm really, really mad I tend to cry. Years ago I would go into the kitchen and pound my fist on the countertop. Not that it did any good, but that's what I did. Until one day my little daughter - she was all of 2 or 3 - was really upset about something and she went into the kitchen, stood up on tiptoe and pounded her tiny fist on the countertop. Never again did I do that.

I'm off to check out a new blog. Thanks for the link!

Melody said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Loved your post and can totally relate. :)

Mr. Macchiato said...

Never a dull moment... You are God's perfect gift to me (in that you have made me better in ways that I couldn't imagine, and you're more fun than anyone else I know).

Karen Deborah said...

I really didn't think of your title on your post yesterday when I just put up a new one. Really.

you are so funny, I have never dressed up to have a fight but it's a great idea. you kill me girl I just love it.

and Happy Anniversary! we've only got one year on ya.

claudia said...

Awwww...Happy Anniversary!!!!!

Elysa said...

Awww-w-w-wwwww...that is so sweet! I love you and I love that man who sends you to CrAzY tOwN! You know that you two are one of mine and Jim's favorite all time couples.

BIG OLE KISSES!!!!

Elysa

Dusty Mommah said...

Awwww -- belated happy anniversary! I melted when I saw that Mr. Macchiato left a comment on your blog -- that means he read it!

I'm with you on the bra, jammies, and jeans thing. It's my "I'm-so-mad-ain't-nothin'-gonna-turn-you-on-by-lookin'-at-me" statement.

I have been known to leave all drawers in the house slightly open, and most recently I threw all of my clothes in the closet on the floor in anger. Unfortunately, my husband was out of town at the time, so I ended up hanging the clothes back up...

Am enjoying catching up on your blogs, as I am new to this blogging world -- thanks for sharing yourself with us!