Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I indulged in a pity party for one yesterday. Now, I'm faced with a very messy house. I am struggling with some things... mainly purpose. I want everything in my life to have a purpose. I've always been that way. But, sometimes I can't see what those purposes are.

I want my trip to Africa to have some significance other than my being grateful for the life I've been given. But what? I can't move there. I can't adopt children from there. The issues there are overwhelming...

I cannot even begin to count the times I've moaned and groaned about my house. Good Lord... all the times I've felt sorry for myself because I can't eat whatever I want without gaining weight... and honestly felt like it was UNFAIR.

What do I do with all of this? I still have my life here I need to live. And it is busy!!!

Chai Tea and Fly Boy are getting married in December. He bought his ticket to come out here yesterday. He has enlisted in the Air Force and will be entering Basic Training the first week of January. I knew this was coming but am shocked by how... shocked I feel by it. If that makes sense.

Anyway, we went camping last weekend and I didn't do diddly squat yesterday, which means I need to attend to my housewifely duties today.

I will say this, after seeing how hard people in Africa work just to meet daily needs, I know I have never worked hard a day in my life.


Kathy said...

I was hoping that you would post today after that face you shared yesterday! The success of Warren's The Purpose Driven Life was so successful because many are seeking purpose. Keep praying and listening for your answer.

Paula said...

I've missed you and blogging my friend...sigh. It's nice to catch up with you. I share the same struggle as you. I don't even feel like I have the right to complain or stress about my Husband's unemployment when I see so many hurting people in the world. I put up a prayer request last night about one such person. I am glad that you are doing well. A wedding...how exciting!!!

Melody said...

A WEDDING?! How exciting! And how overwhelming!! Good luck! Enlist help. That is my advice! :)

As for what your purpose is, only you can figure that out.

It is hard as a homemaker to think that we are doing big things. They tell about "the hand that rocks the cradle" and all that, but it is hard to see.

After days of simply being a gopher to Steve as we are doing some project or being a chauffeur to the kids it is difficult to see the greatness that those things will bring. But then something changes in my thoughts and I see that those things are exactly what I need to be doing.

I call myself a Facilitator, because that is the role I play. And without me things fall apart. I'm thinking it is that way at your house too. :) We are indispensable just doing those little things that seem so common and unimportant.

Mother Theresa said,“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”

Good luck finding the mission of life that God wants for you. :)

Chris H said...

Don't put yourself down like that... you have worked hard! You have raised some lovely children... kept your home ... done good in the community... yadda yadda yadda.... sure we don't have it as hard as some... but life is not all roses for ANYONE.

Yaaa a family wedding to look forward to... there is some purpose girl.... helping organise it so it goes PERFECTLY for them.

Karen Deborah said...

which means your mind and experience has broadened outside of your own little world. We go on mission to get changed forever. You don't have to do anything with it. Just relish it. you are changed. You will look at everything you have and that is available to you completely differently. It helps us not to want, not to spend, to take a second look at the World Mission letters for hunger. Our prayers change we think about others, those who are hungry when we are full. And then all you can do is praise God for his goodness in your life and marvel at all you have received. And you pray for them. You don't forget.

Elysa said...

Not worked hard? HA! What with helping me and Lisa with our messes, you've proven yourself as a war horse!!!

I love you, friend!!!!!!!