Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Whispers in the Dark, Post 4

That carepoint is now sponsored...

The statistics for Swaziland are sobering to say the least.

If a 15 year old child from Swaziland only has a 6% chance of making it to the age of 32, isn’t the situation there hopeless? That means 94% of them will die before that age. Is reaching out to a nation on the brink of extinction a waste of time and resources? Would those efforts be better spent on a country with better odds?

You might think I’m playing Devil’s Advocate by asking those questions that you may have assumed came from other people. Those are actually my own thoughts.

As a Christian, I believe that each life is precious. I am adamantly pro-life. How is it that I can have thoughts like that?

It is that nasty specter in my life, doubt. That little niggling that tells me that a God of Love cannot possibly allow such heinous atrocities to happen to innocent children.

What is the purpose in it all? What if there is no purpose? What if it is what it is? Are we just higher animals on the evolutionary chain?

Do we have immortal souls? In light of eternity, what is our life here on earth, a breath?

I’m doing the lessons for our little VBS at our care point. I’m really struggling with it. How do you tell children how much God loves them when their parents are dead, they’re possibly being sexually abused, they are hungry and they have a 94% chance of dying before they reach their thirties.

Our team leader sent something out about how a child was asked what he wanted and he said, “To grow up.”

That breaks my heart and I choke on it each time I think of it.

Being given this trip I have not put in the time and effort the other team members have. It has really bothered me. When I think about how hard they have worked and the amazing things they’ve accomplished I see how God is working through them to reach out to these hurting people.

I think about all the possibilities and it hurts. Is it cruel to go there and show these people love and then leave? What if a child really likes me and then I’m gone? I think about my own childhood and some of the stand out memories of when someone reached out to me with encouraging words, a squeeze on the shoulder, loving eye contact…

I feel myself close around the emotion of it to contain it. I don’t want to do that but I’m afraid of the full impact of what I am about to experience.

To be continued…

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