Monday, August 23, 2010
If I were an Indian I think my name would have to be changed from She Who Sits By Water to Rushing Water. OY!!!
I've got a lot to do today. I did want to share something here real quick though. Last Thursday I took Pumpkin Spice (mil) to a bible study that a dear lady from our church leads. It is a Beth Moore study and most of the ladies there don't actually go to our church. There is a workbook that you work through and a section where you fill in the blanks during the DVD portion of the study. My friend was giving the women the answers so they could concentrate during the DVD and not worry about filling in those blanks and was having some trouble with her eyes so I read the answers to the group. When I finished the ladies thanked me and then one of them said, "I just love your voice."
That lady did not know me. She did not know I had a problem with my voice. For whatever reason, I quickly shielded myself from the full impact of her words. I did thank her and shared that I had lost my voice for a number of years. Since then I have shed quite a few tears. Tears of GRATITUDE. Tears of JOY.
For so many years I heard on an almost daily basis how awful I sounded. When I still had enough voice to attempt answering the phone I stopped. I couldn't take running to the phone only to be hung up on because the person on the other end of the line couldn't hear me or couldn't understand me. Or... to have the person exclaim, "You sound AWFUL!!" I was well aware.
My friends and family have all told me I sound great and are excited for me... but, to have someone who knew nothing about any of what I've been through say, "I love the sound of your voice." Oh. My.
Yesterday... I sang along with everyone else at our friend's 50th Birthday party. It always upset me greatly on my children's birthdays that I could not sing along with everyone. This year I was able to sing Happy Birthday to two of them.
To think I dove head first into a vat of despair (which could also be read as a vat of food) nearly three years ago when my doctor said there was nothing more that could be done for me...