Looking for work after being a SAHM for over twenty years is depressing, to say the least. There is a whole range of emotions I go through each day which includes questioning the choices I've made in my life. It is a hard place to be in.
Last Friday night we had some friends over for dinner. They also chose to have the Mom stay home and she has not been able to find work either. We, of course, complained about our mutual plight and then she told me she told her girls to never ever give up a job for their family. I was taken back by that and have been mulling it over ever since.
I, of course, wish that I had finished college. I've thought that it would have been smart to have at least a part-time job through the years to have kept myself current and marketable. I look at my friend that lost her husband in September and all that she's had to face after staying home with her children for over twenty years...
Have we all paid too high a price to be stay at home moms?
This question has been in the back of my mind for weeks. It is a hard question to ask yourself. I suppose it would be easy to answer if my children were issue-less. Due to some of the problems we've had I often wonder how much different the outcome would have been had we made different choices.
If only I knew then what I know now... How many of us say that to ourselves?
I had to stop myself and that line of thought. I've descended into the pit of despair too many times in the past to not recognize the path. Of what benefit is the endless questioning? Do those thoughts help or hinder me now?
The truth is... It is what it is. Spending my time thinking about how we could have done things differently is detrimental and an impediment to moving forward.
Now all I need to do is figure out how to keep myself re-directed toward the future with an attitude that I can and will find creative ways to overcome the obstacles in my path.
And... you know what? I'm pretty sure I'd make the choice to stay home with my kids again if I had the chance.