Thursday, April 29, 2010

And Now... I Wait.

My interview went well. In fact, I was there nearly three hours. They will be making a decision by next Friday. I really want this job!

I am getting excited about Spring. The leaves are starting to come out on the trees, the grass is getting green and there are daffodils and tulips throughout the neighborhood. I'm sure we've got another snow or three but that is typical for Colorado.


All I can think about is that job.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Take a Chance on Me!!!

There is a job I want. BAD.

This song has been stuck in my head. I could change the words to make this job related. I could develop some sweet dance moves, make a video and attach it with my resume. That would get me noticed.

And probably locked up.

Please pray that I get an interview!


Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I miss it.

A lot.

I still haven't found a job.

My house is a mess this morning.

I am choosing JOY!!!

I am having a second cup of coffee...

And then... I am going to turn up the stereo and get busy.

It is easy to let the things slide that I do have control over when I'm worrying about all the things I can't control.

A friend of mine once bought a bunch of antique magazines at an estate sale. I can't remember if it was Good Housekeeping or Ladies Home Journal... at any rate, it was one of those types and it was from the 40's or 50's. There was an article in one of them about the benefits of violent housecleaning. I kid you not. We busted a gut when she read it aloud to me. I've probably mentioned it somewhere on this blog before... it is where I got the idea for aerobic housecleaning. Isn't it funny how little things like that can stick in your mind for years? I think my house needs a violent going over. LOL!

I hope the sun is shining wherever you are!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

New Year's Experiment has ENDED

And... I did not finish it.

The last six weeks or so have really been a struggle for me. The fact is I stepped out of my comfort zone a bit too far with the 2010 Challenge at our gym. I had made amazing progress on my own since we joined last summer. I thought that by participating in the Challenge I could get a lot closer to my goal and maybe even win some cash. When I saw my before pictures it really threw me for a loop. Even when I was at my best I did not wear the type of thing I had to wear for the before and after photos. Gosh... I don't even change in front of the other women in the locker room! I have always been that way. One of the hardest things for me when I broke my back in 1993 was having my Mom, mother-in-law and sister-in-law help me shower and dress. The thought of my picture being on the wall at the gym... where other people we know also go... I just couldn't deal with it. I tried to push through it but I just couldn't. That is not me.

The last two weeks I felt like a failure over it. Today, I don't feel that way. The truth is I learned a lot through the challenge and I'm grateful for it. I have somewhat of an all or nothing personality. I think, at 43, I am finally learning to step away from that. It is that zeroed in sort of focus that gets me in trouble, as well as the throwing up of the hands sort of complacency.

We joined the gym last July and since that time I have lost 68 lbs. I was taking 7 different daily prescription medications and am now only taking one. I was diagnosed as being pre-diabetic and have learned that I can keep my blood sugar in normal range through what I eat and exercising.

During the 12 week challenge I lost 22 lbs and then gained 8 of them back. During the time I gained the 8 lbs back I learned that simply avoiding eating sugar is not enough to control my blood sugar... the exercise is vital and may be even more important than what I am actually eating.

I think the best part of this challenge is that it has brought me to a place of acceptance. I no longer have a goal in terms of specific numbers... meaning weight, inches, sizes, etc. My goal is to live life to the fullest right where I am. I feel like so much of my life has been spent waiting... waiting to fully engage until I really deserve it. Does that make sense?

I don't want to be judged according to my appearance. I'd much rather be judged by my actions, my character, and my heart. I am trying to let go of the things over which I have no control and tackle those things over which I do. Life is messy and each day is filled with defeat and victory on many levels. I am getting to where I am okay with that.

Monday, April 12, 2010

I'm Here! I'm Here!!

Techinically, this is probably a bad photo with the spots and weird ring but I like it anyway. It was the sunset from our friends' balcony on Easter. I can only remember one other Easter Sunday since we've lived in Colorado that there wasn't snow on the ground. It was nice!
I've been busy. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just spinning my wheels looking and applying for jobs online. There is a job fair in a couple weeks so I'm going to concentrate on working through computer program tutorials and learning some new skills so I can add them to my resume. My sorry little resume... LOL!
Thank you for the e-mails checking on me! I am going to get back to regular posting this week.

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Mr. Macchiato called me on my cell phone earlier and we had the following conversation:

Mr. Macchiato: Have you been watching the news today?

Me: No, why?

Mr. Macchiato: Joe Biden is going to turn in his resignation as Vice President tonight.

Me: WHAT?!?!?!? Why?

Mr. Macchiato: I don't know...

Me: Oh my gosh... does that mean Nancy Pelosi becomes the Vice President?

Mr. Macchiato: I don't know... I think President Obama can appoint whoever he wants.

Me: Oh... wow... Do you think he'd appoint Hilary Clinton? (me thinking I need to hang up and go research what the process is for replacing a Vice President)

Mr. Macchiato: Kelly, (snickering) What is the date?


He got me. Happy April Fools everybody!

Pushing Through Discouragement

Looking for work after being a SAHM for over twenty years is depressing, to say the least. There is a whole range of emotions I go through each day which includes questioning the choices I've made in my life. It is a hard place to be in.

Last Friday night we had some friends over for dinner. They also chose to have the Mom stay home and she has not been able to find work either. We, of course, complained about our mutual plight and then she told me she told her girls to never ever give up a job for their family. I was taken back by that and have been mulling it over ever since.

I, of course, wish that I had finished college. I've thought that it would have been smart to have at least a part-time job through the years to have kept myself current and marketable. I look at my friend that lost her husband in September and all that she's had to face after staying home with her children for over twenty years...

Have we all paid too high a price to be stay at home moms?

This question has been in the back of my mind for weeks. It is a hard question to ask yourself. I suppose it would be easy to answer if my children were issue-less. Due to some of the problems we've had I often wonder how much different the outcome would have been had we made different choices.

If only I knew then what I know now... How many of us say that to ourselves?

I had to stop myself and that line of thought. I've descended into the pit of despair too many times in the past to not recognize the path. Of what benefit is the endless questioning? Do those thoughts help or hinder me now?

The truth is... It is what it is. Spending my time thinking about how we could have done things differently is detrimental and an impediment to moving forward.

Now all I need to do is figure out how to keep myself re-directed toward the future with an attitude that I can and will find creative ways to overcome the obstacles in my path.

And... you know what? I'm pretty sure I'd make the choice to stay home with my kids again if I had the chance.