Thursday, February 4, 2010

So Wrong... So Very Wrong.

Okay. I do love a good embarrassing poop story. I'm sorry. Poop makes me laugh. I don't know why. Mr. Macchiato thinks it is genetic and was passed down to me through my Grandpa, who himself enjoyed talking about poop.

But... that doesn't mean I want to hear about it all the time. In fact, I don't. Double Shot feels the need to tell me all about it. Every day. I get texts from him at school. What kind of Mother/Son relationship is that? He's trying to gain weight but he says that all the extra food he's been eating just makes him poop more.

Tonight I was driving him home from wrestling practice and he started in...

Double Shot: Don't you hate it when you think you have to take a dump and it is just a bunch of air?

Me: Long sigh... Do you have to tell me about your poop every day?

Double Shot: Yeah.

Me: I am your mother and you are disgusting.

Double Shot: You love poop stories.

Me: No, I don't.

Double Shot: Yeah, you do. You always start laughing.

Me: Ugh.

Double Shot: Did I ever tell you about the time I was being lazy and just chewed up sunflower seeds and ate them?

Me: ugh..

Double Shot: That was the scratchiest and hardest poop ever. It hurt so bad. I think my butt hole bled. I have never ever swallowed sunflower seeds again.

Me: Laughing... laughing... laughing... sides hurting... need air...

I hate myself.


Chris H said...

I find chicken bums funny... we are both sick. lol
Check out my chicken bums! ON me blog today in fact.

Angela said...

LOL one that has ulcer-active colitis..poop is serious business around here,,LOL

Angela said...

and farting too actually!!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

MARTHA tells me about her poops and farts... and that she wipes all by her self... UGGGG ... please welcome me to the sick moms club... cause i laugh too!

Flea said...

I so don't get all the poop humor. Blood and guts - yeah. Poop - no. It's all you, CB.

Oklahoma Granny said...

Just catching up on my blog reading and I've got to say, yours is the funniest one I've read today.

The funniest email I got today was about poop too. If you ever get an email with the subject line "Homemade Chili" and it gives you a warning about laughing out loud, you'll know the one I received today. I'll bet Double Shot would love it too!

Oh, and have you ever heard of the children's book called "Everybody Poops"?

Kathy said...

Your POOP blogs are always the funniest.