I'm heavy hearted and in a "why?" mood.
Haiti... My goodness. Why is it that the worst disasters strike areas already hurting?
I've been reading about Africa again. This time Swaziland. So many orphans...
Here I am on a quest to lose weight... My overindulgence disgusts me.
All the self pity I've indulged in because I can't eat whatever I want without getting fat.
All the self pity I've indulged in because our deck is rotting and our fence is falling apart.
All the self pity I've indulged in because I have Spasmodic Dysphonia.
All the self pity I've indulged in because of so many of the "problems" in my life.
The fact is I am so incredibly blessed. So incredibly blessed without deserving it. I had no control over where I was born or what family I was born into. I had no control over what I would look like or my mental capabilities. So many are born into horrifying situations. So many are born with physical deformities and/or decreased brain function and/or disease.
It says in the Bible that we are blessed so that we may bless. We've felt good about ourselves for sponsoring one child in Africa for $38 a month through World Vision. We spend more than that on one dinner out. We've felt good about filling up shoe boxes with cheap Christmas gifts and toiletries to send to kids in other countries once a year for Samaritans Purse at a cost far less than we even spent on one of our children for Christmas. We felt good about filling up a couple buckets for Buckets of Love to be sent to another country... again with each bucket costing about what it does to take our family out to eat one nice meal. We've donated clothes and our cast offs countless times... but it is stuff we no longer had a need and/or want for. When a disaster happens we often send a check to a relief organization... and we go about living our unchanged lives.
My heart is breaking... the numbers of dead in Haiti are staggering.
I am more motivated than ever to keep losing weight... to becoming physically strong and healthy. I never want to go back to the gluttony that has been my life for far too long. I am blessed and I am praying for God to show me how I can use what I have to bless others. And I am praying... I am praying for all those people...