Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Boy JOY!!!

Sigh...

You know, Double Shot drives me cRaZy. He does. That kid wears me out. But... oh my Lord does that kid make me laugh!

He had his physical today. He HATES going for physicals but he has to to be able to play sports. Several years back he nicknamed his pediatrician Cold Fish... because he said his hands felt like a cold fish when he did the whole turn your head and cough thing.

So... Double Shot is 5'11", 158 lbs, and is fully capable of hearing his father and I... as well as fully capable of seeing the messes he makes. We've got it in writing.

I was in the room with Double Shot as we went through the usual questions. Cold Fish then said that he'd like to talk to Double Shot about STD's and I was welcome to stay. Uhhhh, no. I left. The look on Double Shot's face was priceless! He pleaded with his eyes, "Mommy! Don't leave me!"

As I was chuckling to myself in the waiting room I got a text from him.

Nasty. Come shoot me please.

Oh, you know I laughed out loud and had everyone staring at me.

When he finally came out I was so tickled by his expression. As we were going down the stairs I asked him what Cold Fish said.

Ugh... Herpes, syph-o-lips, gone-ah-roid... a bunch of crap like that and how you have to go to the hospital and what they do to you!

I almost peed my pants! Syph-o-lips? Gone-ah-roid? Bwaaaaa Haaaaa Haaaa Haa!

When we were in the car I asked about the feel up.

Dropping my drawers in front of a dude is not something I like to do.

I'm so sorry. I could not help myself...

He didn't just feel around in your pants?

Y'all should have seen the look on his face! PRICELESS!!! I so love that boy!

10 comments:

Karen Deborah said...

If he reads this post you are SO DEAD!

Caleb said...

I just had Andy read this and he is laughing his head off. He just grabbed my leg and said "I don't have cold fish hands like that doc, I have warm hands". Oh, this is such a funny blog. We can't quite laughing.... You really need to consider writing a book someday with all these funny life stories.

Andy and Wendy Ingram said...

OOPS, sorry about that CB! That last comment just appeared under my son Caleb's google account, but the comment was from me.
Wendy Ingram

Chris H said...

Hee hee, glad someone else loves to embarass their offspring too!

Just Me said...

Oh, wow. Poor Double Shot. The joys of being 16!

I didn't know the docs did the hernia thing at that age. I guess any athlete would have to put up with it.

Y'see, I didn't get annual checkups grown up unless they were of the school-mandated sort. I didn't play sports in high school, so physicals weren't required once I finished with vaccinations.

I wonder what Cold Fish thought of your son texting during his STD lecture?

claudia said...

I didn't have any sons, so I didn't think about this kind of stuff. Funny...LOL funny!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

priceless!!!!

MaBunny said...

LMAO - I'm with Karen - if DS reads this you are one dead mama, hahahahah- sorry just laughing at your description - not that you'd be dead - we'd miss you!
When those special moments come up with Nicole she looks at me like I"ve grown two heads or something and mutters eww gross....

Flea said...

You're such a cruel mother. For that? I love you! :)

FreckledFireLily said...

Ok now I have to write about my son's experience at the ER when he had poison ivy. Boys are fun - sometimes.