Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Sixth Picture in Your Sixth Folder

Angela did this last Friday and posted a video here. Since I am exercising my world class procrastination skills, I decided to see what my sixth picture in my sixth folder is.

I should explain...
Back when I had my first blog I did a post on the mannequins in JC Penney.
Well... Mr. Macchiato and I were shopping and I noticed that the mannequins in the chubby chick part of the store were different.
I decided to go back with a friend of mine and document the gross misrepresentations I found.
The above behind is what all behinds are supposed to look like, right?
Uh...ummmm... if my behind ever looked like that I would have proudly worn a thong walking down Main Street while throwing my own confetti into the air.
Not really.
And my behind did look like that.
When I was twelve.

Here is the standard mannequin.
Perky little thing...

Here is the mannequin in the chubby chick department.
Where I shop...
Number One...
that mannequin ain't all that chubby.
Number Two...
Do chubby chicks not wear supportive bras?

Are they serious?


aThose are some droopy boobies!


aYes, I did.

aI had to take a peek to see what a droopy mannequin boobie looks like.

aI have an inquiring mind.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Another Monday...

Another list. Oy.

Again I say, OY!!!

Too much baseball.


My list must be accomplished. Cuppa Joe's parents are going to be here this weekend. They met Frappy and spent this last weekend with her and Cuppa Joe. They live in Pennsylvania. I'm nervous.

Again I say, Nervous!

Cuppa Joe told Frappy they like her. What if they don't like us? What if we embarrass Frappy? Pfffft... more like how bad will we embarrass Frappy?

Why... why oh why does our backyard look like we let two dogs do whatever the heck they wanted back there???

Fairy Godmother??? Are you there? Can you come wave your magic wand over my backyard? Please?

She never answers me. Never.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Problems with Internet

I haven't been able to stay online long enough to get a post out... Very frustrating!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Mr. Macchiato

Our guests left before noon yesterday. We had a wonderful time and hope that we can see them again soon! Mr. Macchiato took a couple days off of work so we had the rest of the afternoon to relax and hang out.

We decided to take Double Shot with us to see a movie after he got out of Summer School. I was surprised by how many people were at the theater with it being a work day afternoon. Half way through the previews the strobe lights started flashing as an alarm sounded. A voice said over the loud speaker that we needed to calmly exit the building. We didn't know if it was a fire drill or what. While we were all standing in line to get out the voice came back on and said that we needed to return to our seats and wait because it was a false alarm. Everyone schlepped back to their seats and sat down. The strobe lights and alarm kept sounding. A good five minutes or so passed when the voice came back on and said, again, that it was important for us all to remain in our seats.

Without a word to Double Shot or myself, Mr. Macchiato stood up and left. We looked at each other with our mouths hanging open. Double Shot was shaking his head and saying that we are supposed to stay in our seats. I was grateful he didn't get up and leave me there too. After another five minutes Mr. Macchiato appeared and took his seat between us, the alarm and strobe lights still going.

Me: Where did you go?

Mr. Macchiato: I wanted to see what was going on.

Double Shot: They told us to stay in our seats!

Mr. Macchiato: That could have been a terrorist telling us to stay in our seats.

Me: You just left us here without saying anything.

Mr. Macchiato: I knew you were safe.

Me: Laughing... What were you going to do?

Double Shot: Laughing too... Yeah, it's not like you have mad ninja skills.

Mr. Macchiato: Angry... I was going to come back here and tell everyone to get the hell out.

Double Shot: We are watching a movie... not in one!

Me: What is going on?

Mr. Macchiato: The fire department is out front and they are the ones that have to cut off the alarm after they check the building out.

A movie employee came in and told us that it wouldn't be much longer and our movie would start back where it left off... and that we'd all be receiving free movie passes after the movie. A few minutes later the alarm stopped and our movie resumed.

Mr. Macchiato to all outward appearances is a pretty mild mannered guy. He is an accountant. I think the last physical altercation he was involved in with anyone other than his brothers was in the 10th grade. In fact, it didn't even get physical. At that age Mr. Macchiato was one of the small guys. The kid that told him to meet him after school so they could fight was a bully. Some kids gathered and after the bully yelled some things as he was getting ready to kick Mr. Macchiato's butt, he looked him in the eye and said, "Go ahead and hit me. What are you going to tell people? You beat (his full name) up?" The bully put his fists down and stared at Mr. Macchiato as he simply walked away.

Mr. Macchiato has never served in the military or been in law enforcement. He's got a bit of a baby face and didn't even need to shave every day until he was in his thirties. In fact, Mr. Macchiato has never played organized contact sports. He's just not one of those guys that people look at and think... Don't mess with him!

Five years ago Mr. Macchiato got a call from his dermatologist the day before we were leaving on vacation telling him that one of his moles they tested came back with melanoma. He called me and said that the doctor wanted him to come in that afternoon to have it removed. It was a little disconcerting, but it was just a little mole on his back. When he got home he was in a lot of pain. I found it funny because I thought he was being a bit of a baby about it. We were still going on vacation and just had to make sure Mr. Macchiato took it easy and didn't lift anything. I thought that sounded like a pretty good deal for him since we would be lugging suitcases around.

Later that night he really was not doing well and asked me to check his back. I wasn't really surprised by the amount of padding and dressing they had put on his back because medical professionals tend to over do that sort of thing. However, when I pulled the bandages back I was horrified. The doctor told Mr. Macchiato that she had to remove surrounding tissue... He had a large six inch long cut across his shoulder blade. I felt so bad. He hadn't been being a baby at all.

Mr. Macchiato did not want to cancel the trip so he pushed through. He would only take over the counter pain medication because he was driving most of the time. He doesn't like it when I drive because... well, I have a bit of a lead foot.

While we were visiting my Dad we took the kids to a go cart place. Mr. Macchiato had to pretty much just stand back and watch everything we did on that trip, not much fun for him. Double Shot cut the wheel on his cart too far to the left (he insisted I tell y'all it was because Chai Tea cut him off, and she did) when it was time to come in and his foot slipped off the brake... he hit the concrete curb full force, crumbling it. Before I could blink Mr. Macchiato had vaulted over the fence and was running to Double Shot.

Mr. Macchiato has been under a lot of stress. Being in construction, things are starting to get scary as there is less and less work to be had and other construction companies are under bidding just to get a job. He has always been faithful, loyal to friends, a great provider and an involved father. He has integrity in all areas of his life. He's down to earth and real. He is my husband. He is our Mufassa.

** NOTE: Just in case you don't know who Mufassa is... He's The Lion King.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Men... Don't Get 'Em

I took Benny to the vet on Monday. He was overdue for his yearly shots. We haven't gotten him neutered yet because... well, we kept forgetting about it. It's one of those expenses that is easy to put off and Booper has never exhibited the type of behavior that has you running to the vet to get it done. Well, he did try some stuff as a little guy but Lu Lu... well, you just didn't mess with her. Before Benny got bigger than her she really put him in his place and he never forgot it. Also, because Benny is so furry, we don't see the goods that often.
When we got to the vet I was hoping they wouldn't put us in the room we had Lu Lu put down in. They didn't. Instead they put us in the room we had Eve put down in. Ugh. There was some problem so we ended up waiting almost an hour too. I was feeling uncomfortable too because I was feeling like a bad pet owner because we haven't gotten him fixed yet and he's two and was not looking forward to that conversation.
When the Doctor came in he asked how we were doing. Both he and his wife were with us when we put Lu Lu down. His wife was the one that put Eve down almost 2 1/2 years ago and no one that was there that day will forget Double Shot's reaction. It still chokes me up when I think about it.
Benny is really healthy. The doctor did give me a hard time about his nails. Well, claws really. I am always afraid to cut them... so I don't. I asked him about the pedi-paw thing I've been seeing on TV that files them. Oh my Lord. My mild mannered vet said, "Those things are sh*t, don't waste your money!" Then he apologized and explained that they are not powerful enough and the sand paper thing isn't gritty enough and that if I wanted to take care of his nails that way I'd be better off to buy a dremel (sp?) tool at Lowes. After we were done he sent a tech in to teach me how to trim his nails.
When we got around to talking about getting Benny fixed I explained why we hadn't yet. When I was done he told me that vets have to recommend spaying and neutering and in most cases he agrees that it should be done. However, in Benny's case, if he were his dog, he would not. He said that because Benny doesn't... ya know... hump stuff, mark his territory in the house, show aggression toward us, and is well controlled that it is healthier for him not to be neutered.
We had another golden retriever named Reggie that we gave to my mother-in-law when he was 10 months old (yes, I have a thing for goldens). We were moving from California to Mississippi and having a hard time selling our house. We decided not to buy in Mississippi. We were afraid we would not be able to find a place to rent where we could have a big dog. We sent him up to Seattle on a plane by himself. My husband did find a house where we could have had him but we had already sent Reggie to his mom. When she came to visit us several months later we didn't have the heart to take him back. She was in love and we figured she needed him more than we did at that point.
We had not neutered Reggie. Mr. Macchiato has a hard time with that where the boy dogs are concerned. Girl dogs? Not a problem for him there. Anyway, he didn't want his mom to either. She didn't until she found out he had testicular cancer when he was around 8 or 9. He, like Eve and Lu Lu, died when he was 10. I brought what happened to Reggie up to my vet. He said that if Benny has his testicles he does risk getting cancer but there are also health risks associated with getting neutered that affect his health. Goldens tend to put on a lot of weight and there are risks associated with that. In the end, of course, it is our decision whether we do it or not.
When I relayed all this to Mr. Macchiato he was so happy... beaming with pride happy. He has said the following to Benny:
Oh Booper, you are such a good boy! You get to keep your nads!
Oh Benny, Dr. P saved you!
Benna Boo, Dr. P is your new best friend!
Booper, you are such a gooooooood boy!!!
When Double Shot heard about it... he beamed with pride too!!! What the heck?!?! He also says similar things to Benny.
Good Lord.
Do y'all remember the Mr. Jumbo McFat Ass Pants? Well, yesterday afternoon Mr. Macchiato called me...
Mr. Macchiato: Very grumpy... I'm so friggin uncomfortable. I ate too much for lunch and have felt like crap all day. My clothes are pinching me in two. I feel like a worm that got pinched and put on a hook.
Me: Laughing... A worm?
Mr. Macchiato: A big fat pinched worm on a hook.
Me: Laughing so hard he starts laughing too.
This Morning I was getting his clothes for him. I had ironed him a shirt and was going through his pants in his closet to get a matching pair. Mr. Macchiato can't match stuff. I even have to hand him his socks or lay them out or he'll put on whatever he grabs. When I'm mad at him I don't do this and then snicker to myself when I watch him head off to work in one of his disastrous ensembles. It's called passive aggression and I've got it down.
Mr. Macchiato: Standing there in his tighty whities... Hey, can I wear the Mr. Jumbo McFat Ass Pants?
Oh, yesterday Double Shot had a baseball game. Last week I bought him new baseball pants because his were too tight. The sports store we went to didn't have any adult medium so I got him large. I didn't feel like running around town and I figured he's still growing... he's got a belt. They are HUGE on him. We stopped at Loaf-n-Jug so he could run in and get some gatorade on our way to the field. He's been complaining about the pants since I got them.
Double Shot: Leans into the car before running into the store... Are these pants one of your little passive aggressive deals? Because they suck!
Me: Laughing... and thinking... hmmmm.... maybe...

Monday, June 15, 2009

Lord Have Mercy!

Boy, Mondays seem to be coming closer and closer together these days!

Guess what?!?! We've got company coming for a couple days later this week. Woot Woot!!!

Unfortunately, we've been experiencing technical difficulties. It seems my laptop has died. Our desk top keeps losing its internet connection... problem with the wireless card and very frustrating. And Double Shot's computer is so filtered that I can't post or do research for the Uneducated blog. All very frustrating for me!

Well, I need to get at it. I'm going to be running full steam to get this house in order before our guests arrive!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Got Prayer?

Angela at FREE SPIRIT HAVEN is so faithful each Friday to lift those bloggers up who are in need of prayer. If you'd like to join with her go here.

I've made a list of all y'all who comment and am praying for each of you by name today. If you have a specific prayer request, you can leave me a comment, or you can e-mail me privately at coffeebeankel@earthlink.net .

God Bless You!!!

Ya Just Gotta Love It...

My Mother-in-Law sent me the following and I just had to share!!!
Grandma is 88 years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon, Love, Grandma
I pray we all have the perspective of "Grandma" today!!!
**Note: Just to clarify, this was a forward... this is not my or Mr. Macchiato's Grandma.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Little Mama gave birth to this little fawn yesterday outside Mr. Macchiato's office!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

This is For You!

This is for y'all outside the United States that are unfamiliar with the commercial containing the song Double Shot keeps singing!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

What. the. HECK?!?!

Benny is my dog. He is. He loves me the best. He follows me around and he chooses to sleep by me when we go camping. In fact, Lu Lu always followed me around too... Do you think they do/did that because they see/saw me as the "alpha"? Oh my gosh. That makes me the head b*tch!!!

Benny has been understandably upset. He was totally losing it when we put him in his crate and left the house. The other day I drove my car around the corner and walked back to the house to see if I could hear him. Ummmm, yeah, from like the next street over. I've been taking him with me when I can. He turned into a crazed loon when I went into Blockbuster the other night. Mr. Macchiato is not wanting me to leave him in the car alone because his family had a Saint Bernard that his Dad left in his company car while he popped into the bar for a quick drink. I can't remember if it was Brutus or Bambi. They had two. That dog destroyed the inside of the car. Yesterday, we left him for less than an hour with Double Shot's stereo on a bit loud. When we got home we were real quiet to see what he was doing and he was asleep. He'd only drooled a little bit in his crate so we knew he didn't bark all that long.

Benny has always gotten excited when anyone comes into the house. He's always been such a happy dog with a big smile and dancing eyes. He loves Double Shot. I've noticed the last couple days that he's his normal self when Double Shot is here. When he's not he mopes around, sleeps a lot, and it is hard for me to get him to smile. He's super cuddly and ready and willing to be loved on. I tried to play with him this morning and he just pressed his head into my leg and wanted to be pet. When I give him hugs he stays there until I pull away.

Earlier today I took him with me to pick up Double Shot from Summer School. He just laid on the seat and didn't even look out the window. He sat up when we pulled into the parking lot and when he saw Double Shot his eyes lit up, he was smiling big and wagging his tail like crazy. I sat there with my mouth hanging open.

If I was a good mom I probably wouldn't be bothered by this. Maybe Benny just loves him so much because he rolls around on the floor with him and is a smorgasbord of teen boy smells. That's gotta be it. Right?


I spent HOURS on a post for the Uneducated blog this morning that was lost when I went to publish it. In fact, Mr. Macchiato said for the umpteenth time that I should compose my posts in Word for that reason. So, I am composing this post straight up into blogger. As usual. Maybe I should put a sticky on the monitor for awhile until I get in the habit...

Double Shot is really making me mad. Not only do I have the, "credit report dot com baby," song stuck in my head because he is ALWAYS singing it, I'm having to ride him about doing his Summer School homework. You have got to be kidding me!!!!! I tell ya... I'm wishing he wasn't so big and strong. I'd like to find a woodshed somewhere and have at it. If I wasn't afraid of a scary woman trying to make me her girlfriend in jail, I'd take him out to the busiest intersection and town and kick his butt there in front of everyone. I wonder if my doctor would prescribe Valium...

We are going to meet Frappy half way to give her her birth certificate and go out to dinner. Hopefully, Cuppa Joe will be able to join us. He's working construction this summer. Thus the riding Double Shot about getting the homework done. Which he just did. Finally.

A bit earlier I was telling Double Shot about some middle east stuff. Yesterday, when we were driving to the orthodontist he asked me what I was thinking about. I was thinking about saying nothing, which is what I usually say because no one really likes to hear what I'm really thinking about. Instead I told him that I was thinking about how small and insignificant we humans must seem from the outer reaches of space and that we would be smaller than atoms from out there. He proceeded to tell me I was a freak. He then told me about some of the stuff he thinks about. It was a moment and it made my heart swell. It seems at least one of my kids has inherited some of my weirdness in the thought department. I don't know why that made me happy, but it did.

Anyway, he was shaking his head at me so I started crabbing about the homework again. We went downstairs together and I started dancing around in an effort to inspire him to do his homework. Benny was giving me the eye and it made Double Shot laugh so he decided to dance with me to see what he would do. He just smiled with love and adoration... at Double Shot!!! I then made up a song about if his friends could see him now and we started laughing even more. It was so much fun.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Kids... Ya Just Gotta Love 'em!!!

Okay, so I was sitting in my car outside the orthodontist... because Double Shot lost his retainer and yes, we just replaced a retainer he broke about 5 weeks ago and yes, it's $150 each and yes, he just got his braces off 3 or 4 months ago. I told y'all things have been suckin' round here... Anyway, so I was sitting there waiting and my cell phone rang.

Frappy: Moooooooooommmmmmmm!

Me: What?!?!

Frappy: Mooommmmmm, I just sat in the DMV for, like, an HOUR, and they won't give me a temporary license because my middle name is missing the e at the end without the original copy of my birth certificate!!!

I couldn't tell if she was whining and crying or just whining. She was probably half crying. And yes, there is such a thing as half crying. Frappy lost her license, gas card and check card Friday night when Cuppa Joe took her to a night club. All that caused Mr. Macchiato some heartburn.

Me: Well, I guess I can drive it up to you tomorrow.

Frappy: I have lab until 4:30 pm... maybe I'll leave early.

Me: No, we can take care of it after your lab.

Frappy: But... we have to dissect a fetal pig...

Later in the conversation:

Frappy: Well, at least my name will be spelled right on my license now and I can get a better picture.

She was smirking in her license picture because she was thinking, "Booo Yaaaa Chai Tea! I passed my driver's test the first time! Heh heh!"

Me: So did you make yourself all pretty?

I was thinking part of the reason she might have been so upset might be because she took a lot of time trying to make herself look older. When she runs around with her hair in a pony tail or crazy bun without make-up she looks like she's 15.

Frappy: This morning but it rained and messed up my hair. I still look okay though. I was going to go jog but I don't feel like doing anything now. I just want to sit on the couch and eat popcorn. I don't even have any popcorn.

That cracked me up because last week she told me she went to make dinner for her and her roommate only to realize they didn't have a can opener. They've got an ever expanding list of all the things they don't have and need to get... like salt and pepper shakers and potholders. Things they didn't realize they needed until they needed them. LOL!

Frappy: Why do they have to take so long at the DMV?

Me: Laughing... Welcome to adulthood.

Did I tell y'all Double Shot has to go to summer school? Yeah. Started today. He wouldn't have had to go if only he'd done his homework. He's obviously chosen to learn personal responsibility the hard way. Knucklehead. When he got in the car he told me half the kids are Emo and there were only a few "normal" kids. Sorry. I could not help myself. I said, "No, all the normal kids do their homework and don't have to go to Summer School." Some people think sarcasm is harmful to children. I say, sue me.

Anyway, before we left for the orthodontist we had Heath Klondike Bars. Yum. When we got home I was getting some orange juice out of the fridge and he opened the freezer.

Double Shot: Indignant gasp... We have Reese's Klondike Bars and you gave me a healthy one!!!

Oh. My. Lord.

Chug Chug Chuggin' Along

I am terribly behind on everyone's blogs... Sigh.

I'm in my usual Monday morning mode. I've got much I hope to accomplish this week and need to take advantage of the energy that gives me before that hope begins to fade. I almost always wake up hopeful and each week I think this is going to be the week. I have had times in my life when I have accomplished my goals. I love that feeling! Unfortunately, I'm afraid most of my life I've done much more failing than accomplishing. And yet I hope.

Life's been pretty sucky round these parts. I think I'm ready to pick my head up and look at life around me. I hate it when I get so ultra focussed on my own little world that I lose sight of the bigger picture.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thank You

I really appreciate all y'all's prayers and kind words. Thank you so very much.

Just Mr. Macchiato, Frappy and I went. Double Shot stayed home with Benny. We decided to have her put to sleep in the basket she was born in. We saved Eve's ashes and will be scattering them together with Lu Lu's at a place we took them camping many times. They were great buddies. Frappy wants to be there so we will have to wait until she can go.

Benny doesn't know what is going on. He was very spastic last night and wouldn't settle down. He was also over salivating (he does that when he's excited but never to the point he was last night). He spilled Mr. Macchiato's drink, we couldn't get him to stay in one place for more than 2 minutes, and when we tried to put him in his crate he just barked and barked. We were going to let him sleep with Double Shot but he just would not settle down. Around midnight Mr. Macchiato lost it. I ended up putting him in his crate and sleeping on the floor by him.

This morning Benny was very subdued when I let him out of his crate. He went to Lu Lu's crate and sniffed around and then seemed to be looking for her. I watched him when I let him out into the back yard and he ran around sniffing and then would go to different parts of the yard and look around him while pointing his nose in the air and sniffing. He then went and sat by the back door and was looking at me like he doesn't understand. When I let him in he just lifted his paws to me so I could clean them. I pet him for a bit and he kept pressing his head into me while being very still. He was happy to see Mr. Macchiato come down the stairs but I think he got his feelings hurt because Mr. Macchiato couldn't let him rub up against his legs and get his hair all over his dress pants. It is very unusual for him to be so calm in the morning.

It is a beautiful morning after all the days of rain. Hopefully, it will be the same in our hearts soon.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Update on Lu Lu

One of many goofy faces Lu Lu makes...

This was taken after she had surgery to remove a tumor on her eyelid...
I have always loved when she lays on her back like this...
she has the cutest belly.

This picture was taken some time ago...
Lu Lu was born in that basket.

It seems that even I waited too long.
Lu Lu would not eat any dog food all of Sunday and Monday. She would still eat treats so yesterday I didn't give her any and she ate a few bites of dog food in the morning... probably less than 10 pieces. She also took a couple bites of refried beans from me in the afternoon. We don't normally give our dogs people food but they always want it and I figured it was better than no food. Double Shot gave her a few penne pasta from his dinner last night. About two hours later she threw up. I always go through stuff like that (gruesome, I know. I'm just always curious). She had not digested anything she had eaten all day, nor had she chewed most of it and there was a lot of grass.
During the night she yiped to be let out several times (instead of yelp because when she does it it sounds like she's saying "Yipe"). It rained all night and she normally does not like to be out in it. I had a hard time getting her to come back inside each time. When I got up with Mr. Macchaito she heard us and started yiping again. She had peed and had diarrhea... which she tried not to get in her crate by spraying it out the sides, getting it on the carpet and wall. I let the dogs out and cleaned everything up. It was still raining lightly so they got pretty wet. I moved Lu Lu's crate next to the back door and then gave her a sponge bath. While I was cleaning the underside of her tail I saw some watery red stuff around her urethra which leads me to believe she's got some bleeding in her kidneys.
I told Mr. Macchiato that it would be cruel for us to wait until Friday to put her down. He told me to call Frappy. She is very upset. Mr. Macchiato and Frappy have always called Lu Lu their dog... and really, she has been. Summer classes are extremely intense and you cannot miss them. Fortunately, she has a test today which means she will be getting out early and her labs are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She is going to come home so that she can say goodbye to Lu Lu, be there when we put her down and then go back up to school. Hopefully, we can get in at our vet. If not, we are going to have to take her to the animal hospital. As of last night, Double Shot said that he does not want to be there this time. He had a very hard time when we put Eve down and his reaction had even the vet techs crying.
Please pray for our family if you do that sort of thing. I am worried about all the hours of driving Frappy has ahead of her today. Losing two pets in 5 days is really hard.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

When it Rains it Pours

I've known in my heart for some time that we were going to have to say goodbye to Lu Lu before too long. Because I am the one home alone with her every day I see it all. It has been difficult because what the rest of my family sees is in part and for some of them there are long periods between what they see. Sometimes they argue with me because they haven't wanted to believe that she's as bad as I say she is. It always makes me feel horrible and like they think I am pushing her to die when I am only trying to prepare them.

Last night Chai Tea called to check on Lu Lu. She has always loved dogs and practically memorized a dog encyclopedia that my mom gave her. She got upset with me because she feels that we are hurting Lu Lu by waiting to put her down. She doesn't understand that I need to have the others in agreement, or at the least, in acceptance. I, too, am worried about Lu Lu being in pain but not showing it.

I went to see the vet today. I typed everything out which is what I do when I see the doctor and when we see the counselor. She explained that we know for a fact that Lu Lu has kidney disease and that her blood work showed that her kidney function had deteriorated in January. Even though she does not act sick all day long we know by the fact that she dry heaves and/or pukes every day and has periods where she is obviously not feeling well that things are not right. She explained that kidney failure is very painful and that the kindest, most loving thing to do would be to let her go.

I know all this but it is hard when she acts normal a lot of the time. I called Mr. Macchiato who was at a business lunch. His response was to disagree and argue. I made an appointment for tomorrow (they are slammed this week and I didn't have a lot of options if we wanted to be there, which we do). When I told Frappy she got very upset. Of the kids she is the most attached to Lu Lu. She wants to be here but I didn't think she could come home before Father's Day. She told me she could come home on Thursday night so I drove back to the vet and got the only appointment I could on Friday which is at 1:45 pm. Hopefully, there won't be a conflict with anything Mr. Macchiato has going on at work.

I am very upset. I feel that I have been put in a really crappy position. Mr. Macchiato wants me to be the one to talk to the vet but then doesn't like what I have to say. I've had one kid upset with me because we weren't moving on this fast enough and then two others that haven't wanted to even believe that she is sick.

We had to put Eve down 2 1/2 years ago and it was bad. I had to make that decision and Mr. Macchiato couldn't even go with us because he had to give a deposition up in Denver. He wanted us to wait but she would have died on her own and she was struggling. It was the right thing to do for her but it made me feel so bad to have to do that and then to have my family upset with me made it worse.

It is true that I liked Eve more than Lu Lu. It is true that I like Benny more than Lu Lu. But, the fact is that just like I loved Eve and love Benny... I love Lu Lu. There is a difference between love and like. I often do not like things about the people I love. It doesn't mean that I love them any less. It is the same with our dogs. Having to make the decision to put Lu Lu down and convince my family that it is the right thing to do is killing me.

Paco died four days ago. For eight years I bitched about his squawking. I said I was going to kill him countless times. I said I hated him countless times. I even called bird rescues and the zoo trying to get rid of him. And I even thought about ways I could kill him. I spent his last week desperately trying to save him saying to myself that I would never complain about him again if he pulled through. Each day that he survived gave me hope until that last night. I knew he wasn't going to. I was surprised when he was alive that morning. Then I found him dead and hour and half later...

I love dogs and yet... I don't. I don't like the way they smell. I don't like dog hair everywhere. I don't like my backdoor all scratched up. I don't like our ratty backyard with all the holes and bald spots. I really don't like old dog breath. I don't like the stress they bring when the weather is bad and I have to deal with mud or snow. I didn't want another dog after Eve died. I wanted to just have Lu Lu until she died and then not ever have another dog. I especially never wanted to have another furry dog that sheds.

The day I saw Benny I was with Chai Tea at a horrible pet store that has since gone out of business. We liked to look at puppies there because there was no way we would ever buy a puppy from that place so it was "safe." I saw him... he was asleep with his ear hanging over his water dish. Chai Tea tried to get me to hold him. Gosh, I didn't even want to look at him. We left. The next day Mr. Macchiato and I were running errands and we often went in there since the store was right by our bank. I had not told him anything about being there the day before and had been trying to forget about it. I can't remember now if he suggested we go in or if I did. Whatever the case, it is something both of us suggested doing on a regular basis. I went straight to him and scooped him up. Then it was Mr. Macchiato's turn to resist. We bought him the next day. To me, I was telling Eve that she had been worth every inconvenience.

I still think about Eve every day. I call her my once in a lifetime dog. In so many ways, putting Lu Lu down is harder for me than losing Eve. I feel bad because there are things about her that have always annoyed me... the way she always gets frantic and scratches the doors, how she barks and scratches the fence, how she doesn't really like or play with dog toys but will destroy them just because Benny likes them, and how bitchy she can be. She's busted out our front door and bit dogs being walked in front of the house twice. Losing Eve made me terribly sad. I did have some regrets about being frustrated with all the dog hair and making her stay in her crate so much that last month before she died (she smelled AWFUL)... but, I know she knew how much I loved her. Lu Lu... I feel bad because I've talked often about what a horrible hag she is.

There is a lot I like about her too. She makes the most adorable faces. I like the way she doinks her ears and cocks her head. She's just so goofy sometimes. She is the best about getting her paws cleaned. She just rolls over onto her back and puts her paws in the air. Her belly is so cute and round. She loves to have her butt scratched and does what we call the butt dance. It disgusts me because she enjoys it a little too much and I don't like to scratch her there... but, I do laugh when everyone else does it. She's so greedy and tries to squirrel stuff away in her crate all the time. I don't know how many times she's had all the bones piled up in there. One time Mr. Macchiato noticed her going up into the kitchen over and over. He went to see what she was doing and she had gotten all our Chinese take out boxes out of the trash and had them piled up in her crate. After we had lived here a couple years I was sitting in the living room and she sauntered in. She noticed the painting hanging above me, that had been there the entire time we lived here, and started studying it intently. She cocked her head to one side and then the other. She looked it up and down. She was cracking me up. Then she sat back and started howling. Oh my gosh, I about died. She is hilarious when she howls. When we first got Benny she howled every time he got upset. LOL!

Sigh... Lu Lu must know I really do love her. Why else would she follow me around and sit by me? This is hard to take so soon after Paco. I'm still startled by how quiet the house is without him here. I don't know. It's hard enough for me to deal with my own feelings about all this without having to deal with people getting mad at me because they don't want her to go. It just sucks for everybody here.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Post on UH Guide to Politics...

I wanted to post a link here to my post today on the Uneducated blog in case any of y'all might be interested...

In Response to the Murder of Dr. George Tiller

Oh, Lu Lu...

We are afraid Lu Lu's time is drawing near. Actually, we've felt that way for the last several months. We decided to let nature take its course with her. She's had problems with incontinence but that comes and goes. She's also had problems with dry heaving nearly every day... but she's continued to act like herself the rest of the time. She's actually been throwing up every day for over a week now. On Saturday morning she had peed in her crate and just laid in it. As soon as she got out the backdoor, she peed right on the deck. She has never done that before. Then when she was eating she was dripping. We decided I should stay home rather than go with Mr. Macchiato and Double Shot up to Frappy's college to get her moved into an apartment. That afternoon she crawled up under the deck and it took me a long time to lure her out. It was very stressful, especially since Paco had died just the day before.

Yesterday Lu Lu seemed much better than she did on Saturday. She was smiling and running up to us to be pet. I have noticed that when I let the dogs outside she is taking longer and longer to come back to the door. She did not eat last night... and she did not eat again this morning. She will still eat treats though.

We've been expecting this... even so, it is still very hard. The thought of losing two pets within a short amount of time... ugh. Dogs do not always show when they are in pain. It is really hard for us to know when we should have her put down. I can't see doing it when she still is playful at times. I don't know what to do. I'm sick about it.