Saturday, February 7, 2009

Just That Kind of Day

I just ate a bowl of ice cream. On top of a sliced banana. Before that I ate some homemade beef stroganoff over egg noodles. Yes, homemade. Yes, with butter and sour cream. It was tasty. As was the ice cream. What? Did I take any lactaid? Why, no... I did not. That means that within an hour or so, if I'm lucky, I will be paying. In fact, my tummy is doing a little gurgling as I type this... Even though I am completely capable of regaling you with the down and dirty details of my dairy woes, I will not. You are most welcome.

Why would I put myself through such torment for a few brief moments of taste bud titillation? Well, I'm stupid for one. Yes, it is true. I mean, why oh why would someone eat something that they know is going to cause them pain? (BECAUSE IT TASTES YUMMY!). And why would someone eat something that along with making them feel horrible, will also increase the breadth of their already barn sized behind? (BECAUSE THEY ARE SICK OF SALAD!). And why would someone even have those types of food in their house? (BECAUSE THEIR ROTTEN SON ONLY HAS 6.1% BODY FAT AND LOSES 5 lbs IF HE SKIPS ONE MEAL!). WHY? (BECAUSE THEY HAD A CRUMMY DAY FIGHTING WITH A 16 year old WHO WOULD NOT CLEAN HIS HORRIBLE ROTTEN TERRORIST OF A BIRD CAGE! AND WON'T DO HIS HOMEWORK).

Well, and because I suck. I told my son he ruins every single morning and every single evening and that I want to run away and that he is rotten and doesn't appreciate anything we do or have done for him. Because that is the kind of good mom I am.

So. I ate dairy. I will pay. I will pay dearly.

Uh... and we just caught the end of Mike Huckabee's show on Fox and WHAT THE HECK??? He's got what looks like a mother and daughter singing John Denver's, Leaving on a Jet Plane... in opera style!!! You should see the faces they're making... I seriously feel like howling at the moon! Double Shot just caught it and is making me laugh... That. was. bad. Dang.


Two Dogs said...

I too eat stuff that I like knowing that I shall suffer later for it. Pizza eaten after dark is probably the worst though. Waking up in the middle of the night to drink one gallon of water is no fun at all.

Television? I am ceased to even want to watch.

Fellow SD'er said...

I just watched Mike Huckabee too. I like him and his show but totally agree about the operatic version of "Leaving on a Jet Plane". (I was hoping they would!!)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

OHHHHH kelly your life and mine mirror so much... Lactaid finally quit working for me and now really bad things happen, not just the gas and stink and runs but i actually get fevers and pass out if I eat more than two bits of ice cream... dairy queen used to be a favorite but after the last time I had maybe 10 bites of a blizzard or something I nearly died and actually think I may have prayed to die so I could feel better....
and we simply dont want to discuss teens... because we have male female twins!
Love hugs and prayers!

Trisha said...

Sometime you just gotta do what you gotta do! Sorry to hear that Double Shot is driving you nuts! How many years until he heads to college?

Just Me said...

I, fortunately, don't suffer food-related problems, but I do have days where I drift from one hideously-unhealthy thing to the next. And, no, being knocked up has little to do with it, because it happens when I'm not gestating.

I distinctly remember an evening (before we even thought of kids) where I devoured all manner of crap. Leftover buttered noodles topped with leftover chicken a la king, a dish of ice cream, half a bag of Wise chips and at least a dozen Skippy peanut-butter cookies.

I haven't bought Skippy peanut-butter cookies since. I'm afraid of having them in the house.

These days, I find myself longing for sweets, and I need to stay away from the excess sugar. Thankfully, my sugar isn't a problem, but I don't want it to become one. Gummi bears, Good n Plenty, The Oracle's chocolate chip cookies, Jujubes, and Entenmann's chocolate-covered devil's food donuts are a few of the temptations I face today.

I either need to be handcuffed or have my jaw wired shut.

Oh, but The Oracle brought home Girl Scout cookies today!

Karen Deborah said...

I love food and have the behind to show it, and now the stomach roll that lifts my boobs up, and working on a fat face,...where is the chocolate? You know what I like? Very southern, sausage and biscuits. I never ate sausage before living here, now I adore that stuff and hot buttery melt in your mouth biscuits, awhhhh now that is yummy. sick isn't it? I do the same things and say them too. How about, "I've given you everything you have you little ingrate!"

Anonymous said...

Armageddon Thru To You

If you've been wondering why it seems like the world around us is unraveling, it's because the last days as foretold in the bible are now upon us. Just as it was 2000 years ago, many were unable to discern the signs of Jesus Christ's first coming (Mat 16:3), as will many concerning his second coming, which will occur very soon. Yes many have proclaimed a similar sentiment many times in the past, but their errors have no bearing on today other than to lull you into spiritual apathy, and that too was prophesied to occur in the last days.

If you're not a believer in Jesus Christ because you're an atheist, consider that the underlying impetus for your disbelief is most likely borne of pride and here's why:

When we die, if you as an atheist were right, then there is no upside or downside for anyone regarding the afterlife. We will all simply cease to exist

However if we Christians were right about our belief in the afterlife, then we will be given eternal life and you as an atheist will receive eternal damnation

Given the choices, the position held by an atheist is a fools bet any way you look at it because the atheist has everything to lose and nothing to gain. It is tantamount to accepting a “heads I win, tails you lose” coin toss proposition from someone. And that someone by the way is Satan (see Ephesians 6:12).

The only way to explain the attitude held by an atheist is pride, pure and simple. The intellectually dishonest and/or tortured reasoning used by atheists to try and disprove the existence of God is nothing more than attempts to posture themselves as superior (a symptom of pride). And as anyone who has read their bible knows, this is precisely the character flaw that befell Lucifer, God's formerly most high angel. (Isaiah 14:12-15). Is it any wonder then why the bible is so replete with references to pride as the cause of mankind's downfall?

Pride permeates our lives and burdens us in ways that most of us seldom recognize. Ironically, pride is the one thing that can blind someone to things even the unsighted can see. And sadly pride will blind many with an otherwise good heart, to accepting the offer of eternal salvation that Christ bought and paid for with his life.

In any event, if you're an atheist, I wish you only the best for every day of the rest of your life because for you, this life is as close to heaven as you'll ever get, but for believers in Christ, this life is as close to hell as we'll ever get.

If you're not a believer and follower of Jesus Christ because you are of another faith, please take the time to very carefully compare your faith to Christianity and ask yourself, why is the bible the only religious book with both hundreds of proven prophecies already fulfilled as well as those being fulfilled today? No other religion can claim anything remotely close to this fact. Many Christians who are serious students of bible prophecy are already aware of the role and significance of bible prophecy in foretelling end time events. God gave us prophecy as evidence of his divine holiness to know the begining from the end (Isa 46:10). God also believed prophecy to be so important that to those willing to read the most prophetic book in the bible, the Book of Revelation, he promised a special blessing (see Rev 1:3), and this is the only book in the bible that God gives its reader a special blessing for reading. Something to think about.

Don't risk losing Christ's offer of eternal life by not accepting him as your savior and by thinking that the bible is nothing more than a compilation of unrelated and scattered stories about people who lived 2,000 plus years ago. If you take the time to study (not just read) the bible, you will literally be shocked to learn things you would have never imagined would be revealed in it. Did you know that like parables, God also uses particular months and days in the Jewish calendar, Jewish Feasts and customs, solar and lunar phases, celestial alignments, gematria (Hebrew numerology) early bible events and more as patterns and models to foretell future events?

Consider the following interesting facts about the bible that testify to its God-inspired authorship:

Did you know that in Gen 12:2, God said he would bless Israel?. How else can you explain the grossly disproportionate level of success achieved by Jewish people as a tiny minority in the world, especially after all they have gone through? And how can you explain the success achieved by the tiny nation of Israel, surrounded by enemies outnumbering them 100 to 1 and yet still they remain victorious in all their wars?

Did you know that as evidence to indicate that Israel is the epicenter of the world from God's point of view is the fact that languages to the west of Israel are written and read from left to right as if pointing to Israel, and languages from countries to the east of Israel are written and read from right to left, again as though pointing to Israel. Just a coincidence, you say? I think not.

Did you know that the six days of creation and seventh day of rest in Genesis is a model for the six thousand years of this age (ending very soon), that is to be followed by a 1,000 year millennial reign by Christ (see 2 Peter 3:8)? Adam was born sometime prior to 4000 B.C., therefore our 6000 years are almost up.

Did you kow that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is hidden in the meaning of the Hebrew names listed in the genealogy of the book of Genesis (Research it online)? To deny this was God-inspired, one has to instead believe that a group of Jewish rabbis conspired to hide the Christian Gospel right inside a genealogy of their venerated Torah, which is not a very plausible explanation.

Did you know that solar eclipses, which the bible describes as the sun being black as sackcloth, and lunar eclipses, which the bible refers to as blood red moons, have prophetic meaning? Research it online. God showed Adam (and us) his plan for man's redemption through the use of celestial alignments. (research Mazzaroth online)

Did you know that much of the symbolism in the book of revelation refers to planetary alignments that will occur when certain events occur as prophesied? These planetary alignments also explained the birth of Christ, just search out The Bethlehem Star movie on the Internet.

Did you know that the references in Eze 39:4-17 and Rev 19:17-21 in the battle of Gog/Magog and Armageddon respectively, in which birds of prey will eat the flesh of the dead in battle from two enormous wars is based on fact? The largest bird migration in the world consisting of bilions of birds (34 species of raptors and various carrion birds) from several continents converge and fly over Israel every spring and fall. Coincidence? I think not.

Did you know that Hebrew numerology, also known as Gematria, and the numbers with biblical and prophetic significance are hidden in the Star of David? Google the video called "Seal of Jesus Christ"

Did you know that the seven Churches mentioned at the beginning of the Book of Revelation describe the seven stages the Church will go through?

There are literally hundreds of hidden messages in the bible like these that testify to the fact that the bible was God inspired, and statistically speaking, are all exponentially beyond the likelihood of any coincidence. You can find them yourselves if you only take the time to look into it. Remember Proverbs 25:2 "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings".

And finally, if you are Catholic, or one who subscribes to the emergent Church or seeker-friendly Church movement, please compare the doctrine taught, advocated or accepted by your Church, with the actual bible, notwithstanding some new-age version of the bible. And remember that although the bible is often referred to as the living bible, the word "living" was never intended to imply in any way that the bible "evolves" over time to meet, or be consistent with, the standards of man. It's just the opposite.

Well, am I getting through to you? If not, the answer might be explained in the response given by Jesus Christ in his Olivet discourse when he was asked by his disciples why he spoke the way he did (in parables, etc.) in the book of Matthew 13:10-16. What Jesus said could have easily been paraphrased more clearly as "so that the damned won't get it". Why did Christ respond the way he did when asked why he spoke this way? Is there something about pride (the bible says there is) that closes one's heart to seeing or hearing the messages supernaturally hidden in bible parables, models, typologies, and similes, etc.? That should give you something to think about, but don't take too long. Time is now very short.

If it sometimes seems like there are powers at work behind the powers we know in this world, or sinful/evil influences in your life, remember what it says in Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." If you study the bible, it will become clearer.

Did you know that God said to those unwilling to love the words of his truth and be saved, he would send them a strong delusion so that they would believe a lie. See 2 Thesalonians 2:10-11. Have you considered what this strong delusion might be? (i.e., evolution, climate change, or ?)

Have you considered the following. With so many self-professed Christians in the world, how is it possible that the bible can state that so few would find the path to eternal life (See Mat 7:14)? The answer: many Christians who practice Christianity practice an apostate version of it, and will ultimately not be county worthy (Luke 21:36) to escape God's wrath.

And by the way, if you are a scoffer, this too was prophesied to occur in the last days. See 2 Peter 3:3.

Thank you and God Bless you! (at)

Elysa said... can I follow up with MY inance comment after what was just above? Okay then....

...and why do I not feel blessed even though I'm a follower of Jesus? :/

Roland Hulme said...

How did Huckabee get a TV show?

I didn't want him as my president, but I'll admit - he IS adorable.

Roland Hulme said...

After what "Armageddon Thru To You" wrote, Armageddon Outta Here!

Bogart in P Towne said...

I will throw down a dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies if I am not careful...which I am trying to be since I have to fit into a wedding suit in 2 1/2 weeks.