I just ate a bowl of ice cream. On top of a sliced banana. Before that I ate some homemade beef stroganoff over egg noodles. Yes, homemade. Yes, with butter and sour cream. It was tasty. As was the ice cream. What? Did I take any lactaid? Why, no... I did not. That means that within an hour or so, if I'm lucky, I will be paying. In fact, my tummy is doing a little gurgling as I type this... Even though I am completely capable of regaling you with the down and dirty details of my dairy woes, I will not. You are most welcome.
Why would I put myself through such torment for a few brief moments of taste bud titillation? Well, I'm stupid for one. Yes, it is true. I mean, why oh why would someone eat something that they know is going to cause them pain? (BECAUSE IT TASTES YUMMY!). And why would someone eat something that along with making them feel horrible, will also increase the breadth of their already barn sized behind? (BECAUSE THEY ARE SICK OF SALAD!). And why would someone even have those types of food in their house? (BECAUSE THEIR ROTTEN SON ONLY HAS 6.1% BODY FAT AND LOSES 5 lbs IF HE SKIPS ONE MEAL!). WHY? (BECAUSE THEY HAD A CRUMMY DAY FIGHTING WITH A 16 year old WHO WOULD NOT CLEAN HIS HORRIBLE ROTTEN TERRORIST OF A BIRD CAGE! AND WON'T DO HIS HOMEWORK).
Well, and because I suck. I told my son he ruins every single morning and every single evening and that I want to run away and that he is rotten and doesn't appreciate anything we do or have done for him. Because that is the kind of good mom I am.
So. I ate dairy. I will pay. I will pay dearly.
Uh... and we just caught the end of Mike Huckabee's show on Fox and WHAT THE HECK??? He's got what looks like a mother and daughter singing John Denver's, Leaving on a Jet Plane... in opera style!!! You should see the faces they're making... I seriously feel like howling at the moon! Double Shot just caught it and is making me laugh... That. was. bad. Dang.