Sweet Angela at FREE SPIRIT HAVEN blessed me with this award! Thank you so very much! The following text comes with the award:
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”
Well... seeing that I color outside the lines sometimes (but always in a pretty way, lol), I want to do this a little differently. I want to pass this along to all of you who read this blog. I don't always get to read everyone else's blogs regularly but I want you to know how much your reading mine means to me. Those of you who take the time to comment really warm my heart and, so often, make me laugh. Please take this award and let me know in the comments so I can put links to you in the body of another post so that maybe some here who haven't found their way to your blog yet can do so.
You don't have to have commented before or have a blog... or anything. I have a site meter that I look at here and there and can see where people are from that visit the blog. I'm always surprised! I can also see how many times that person has been to the blog. Even though I have no way of knowing who you are or exactly where you are, knowing that you are reading and coming back encourages me. I just want you to know I appreciate you and thank you.
I haven't shared on here lately... the SD has gotten worse. If you have SD and notice that I haven't been round your blog much lately... it is because this roller coaster ride with my voice is sometimes more than I can take. I really try to have a positive attitude... I feel like I have accepted this so many times... until the next bout of when I don't. It's been three years since my diagnosis. I struggled the two years prior to that. Having the botox work... and then having it not... going through the last two injections with the camera and knowing without doubt that they were, in fact, injected into the correct place... My family cannot understand me on the phone. Sometimes, at night, I type what I want to say on my laptop and then pass it to Mr. Macchiato. I am so grateful I can whisper but am afraid that will be lost too. I've often joked that I'm just going to become a mute. In many ways, especially in public, that is becoming a reality.
I don't know that anyone can really understand. When people I know lose their voice temporarily due to illness or laryngitis I get an e-mail or a phone call. They tell me that it made them think of me and that they didn't realize how hard it is. I heard a singer on the radio a couple months ago who lost his voice for three months... he went on a bit about how horrible it was. Those two years I struggled before my diagnosis it didn't bother me the way it did after the diagnosis because, in my mind, it was just a matter of time before we found out what was wrong and fixed it. These past three years, while frustrating, I had some hope (albeit very little at times, but still some) that the botox would work again. Throughout all these years I've prayed off and on for a miracle. Now... I have no hope. I suppose God could heal me but... honestly, I rarely even pray for that anymore.
I know I've said on here before that I was very anti-computer. I didn't even like e-mail. I'm more of a people person and it just seemed... lazy. The time suck it can be still bothers me. At the same time... I'd be lost without it now. Having this outlet has really helped me. I will have had this blog one year next month. Hard to believe. I'm so grateful for all y'all that stop by here. It makes me feel less invisible and like I can still reach out.
Oh Good Lord. I'm all mushy and emotional now. I don't know if today will be a special day for you... if you celebrate Valentine's Day, if you have a special someone in your life, or if you will feel let down or be disappointed today... Sometimes holidays like this suck. I pray that you will know that I appreciate the time you take here and I pray that the love of God will make this day better for you.