Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My Boy

I'm so excited! I got the packet on my boy in Mozambique and can now write him letters and send him things (as long as they fit in a 6x9 inch envelope). I need to learn more about Mozambique and will be going to the library! I had one picture of him but they sent me more! Anyway, I am looking forward to getting to know this little guy over the years.

My bible study starts this morning. Well, actually, it started last Tuesday but I forgot to sign up until later in the day and the first day is just a meet and greet type thing. Can you believe that I've got stuff going every single day of the week where I have to get out and talk to actual real live people? Not that y'all aren't real live people... to talk to y'all I don't have to bathe, get dressed, or comb my hair... No more days spent in jammies or sweats for me! I think those days are great but not days of them strung together. And I do get out almost everyday but a lot of times it is just driving in my car to tote the monster around...

Sigh... It's homecoming week. Today is Super Hero day. Double Shot is thrilled to not have to wear his uniform but... oy. He just came up here in shorts, a t-shirt with one of my good pillowcases pinned to it, and a baseball hat that he's stapled a piece of paper to that says, "I'm a Super Hero." Groan.

Double Shot had a JV game yesterday and it was one of the most exciting football games I've ever been to. The teams were neck and neck throughout and then, I kid you not, in the last two minutes of the game (which in football is really the last 10 minutes with all the stopping and starting) there were 3 touchdowns made. It was crazy with all kinds of interceptions on both sides. However, in the last minute the other team made two touchdowns and we lost. It was insane.

Hopefully, I will have a more interesting post tomorrow. I'm severely lacking in creativity at the moment.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Grumps Galore

Oh. My. Gosh.

Lu Lu... 4 am. Yes. She needed some water. Normal occurrence during the night in these parts with her little kidney problem. We don't let her have water in her crate because she will just drink and drink and then need to go potty 3,467 times. There was a breeze outside. Lu Lu does NOT like breezes or wind and gets grumpy about them even when she is in the house. That dang dog was all in a dither. I let Benny out at the same time but he decided to be a pain when he heard me hit the snooze button at 5:15 am and felt that I should come down and play with him. I most assuredly did not but they both got kicked outside. I laid down on the couch for all of five minutes before Lu Lu started barking... GRRRRRR!!!

Mr. Macchiato took the last razor but left the bag in the cabinet so I assumed there were still razors and didn't buy more... full grown cow birthed right in our upstairs hallway! Then I made the mistake of asking him how he wanted me to pay for something... triplet calves in the kitchen.

Double Shot... discovered his 3rd Mp3 player had gone through the wash... like its two predecessors. Full blown two year old tantrum in the family room complete with flying Mp3 player.

Mr. Macchiato moved on to Double Shot... every light left on downstairs... books on the floor in the family room... yada yada yada. Double Shot telling Mr. Macchiato to chill out. uhhhhhh... I'm sure they are having a wonderful ride to school right now. Mr. Macchiato is going to be late for work. In fact, it takes him about 20 minutes to get from Double Shot's school to his office. I'll be getting a call so he can recount the ride to school... just so I don't feel left out.

But... they've been gone a little bit and the dogs are snoozing away and I feel the stress oozing out. It is Monday morning people!!! I've been doing great on my diet. I am about to leave to go make a fool of myself, yet again, in my jazzercise class. It's pretty bad when the old ladies tell you that you'll catch on... I will. Eventually. This will be a good day. I promise.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Just for FUN!

My cell phone notified me that I was running out of text space... I thought y'all might get a kick out of some of the texts I've received.

From Mr. Macchiato:

Why don't you answer the phone!

YUM (this was accompanied by a photo of the table at our favorite Mom & Pop Chinese restaurant that we usually meet at for lunch once a week when he went there by himself)

43 to 0. Final. Suck-o-Rama! (Last Saturday's football game... first loss for the Varsity team and against last year's #2 at State)

I am tired and unmotivated.

Fart while the music is playing. Is your camera broke?

From Chai Tea:

la la laaaa laaa laaa

My cat.

Its cause one chic got fired.

From Frappy:

I just texted dad 2 see if he could transfer money so I can buy snacks for my dorm.

Went and got the cable thingie so I can get internet.

Yeah i've got lots of friends now.

Trying to figure out how to hang this cork board (it still isn't hung)

No bueno.

Idk

I love u too!

From Double Shot:

Am I staying here until football?

I'm too freakin tired for this testing!

What time are you gonna be here?

I'm so happy to be at school (accompanied by an unattractive picture of himself)

Dork!

I'm hungry. Bring food.

We are on the bus now.

When are you going to be home?

Good night! I love you! Be safe!

I need food.

Hello Fabulous Twit.

What's for dinner?

At least this school year he hasn't sent me pictures of dissections.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Busy! Busy! Busy!

I've taken a dive into the deep end of blogging and have had to come up for some air this week... I'm also re-thinking my time management. My other blog is requiring brain effort and with all this economic stuff going on... it is way over taxed. Get it? Ha... Ha... (crickets?)

Anyway, I've also been doing a little soul searching. I was a very social person and for most of my marriage have been constantly told by Mr. Macchiato to let some things go. We kind of had a cycle going where I would re-evaluate and re-structure and then I would slowly add things back onto my plate until it was time to re-evaluate again. Ten years ago we went through marriage counseling and during one of our sessions our counselor pulled out one of those large pads of paper on a tri-pod and wrote down everything I was involved in. At the end he looked at me and asked where I parked my invisible plane. We had a big argument on Labor Day when I found out that 30 people had been invited to the BBQ at our friends' house and then didn't want to go because I didn't know who was going. Mr. Macchiato has been concerned... but, I haven't wanted to hear him.

I've been struggling with my voice for over 5 years now. In December will be the 3rd anniversary since my diagnosis. In my mind, the two years before the diagnosis weren't so bad because I felt the doctor would figure it out and I'd be fixed. When I was told there is no cure and there was no point in my continuing speech therapy I was crushed. But, there was still a glimmer of hope with botox. It took four months before I got a good injection that made a difference. Those months were very hard. With the botox and my chattervox (personal amplifier) things went back to normal somewhat. I had some projects going and didn't feel so helpless.

After being on the botox rollercoaster I decided to stop trying after another failed injection in December of last year. Last year was also my first year not homeschooling after 9 years. Then Chai Tea ran away in January. There is so much I'm leaving out here but... what I'm trying to say is that over the last year particularly I've folded inward. Getting into blogging did a good job of masking the severity of it because I was communicating with others through it and effectively distracting myself from the hard issues in my life.

Well, something happened at the conference in Denver this weekend. I'm not ready to share the particulars... let's just say, it is my most embarrassing story to date... (well, no... my father-in-law walking in my hospital room while I was being catheterized after the birth of Chai Tea is still the most embarrassing). Anyway, it caused an epiphany of sorts. Well... it caused me to see that Mr. Macchiato was right about some things (you know... I really hate it when that happens!).

So... I've decided to stand up like a big girl and do something about it. I joined a bible study, I joined Weight Watchers, I joined Jazzercise, and I'm handing in paperwork to volunteer for Hospice... and I am going to get on the schedule to switch the music up on the wall at church. I also have an appointment to try the botox again on October 15. I'm also going to finish Double Shot's room and the office...

I'm going to keep blogging. It is a positive thing in my life as long as I make sure it stays in its place. I've got a lot of things I need to get in order and I'm still trying to figure out how to work all of that out.

Frappacino is coming home tomorrow. She is heartbroken. We are going to meet in Denver for Double Shot's football game. She needs a new coat. She has some darling sweaters, jackets and a really cute coat but they really aren't appropriate wear for walking/riding your bike around campus. She needs something weatherproof and warm. She'll get to see some of her friends and go to church with us and just get loved on. I am a little worried about what her reaction will be when she sees what Double Shot did to all her pictures of Orlando Bloom on her wall though... He is now sporting unibrows and blacked out teeth... and hair growing out of his ears. Maybe she won't notice...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sigh...

Blogger is being a big pain today!!! My post has been wiped out twice when I tried to post it!

Long story short...

Frappy's boyfriend broke up with her yesterday. He was her first boyfriend and they've been going round off and on for two years. She is heartbroken and I am hours away from her and I wish I wasn't.

Our water heater is being replaced today. It leaked a good bit before we caught it... but thankfully, stopped short of the carpeted area (we also have a drain in the floor where the water heater is). Still a big pain though and ... uh... Cha-Ching!

Monday, September 22, 2008

What a Weekend!!!

Look what my Mama brought with her!!! Isn't he just precious?!?! His name is Coal and he is a Shih Tzu/Griffon. He looks like a little Teddy Bear! Our very good friends who have not had a dog in a long time (I know! Isn't it a crime? Everyone should have a dog at all times!) saw all our pictures of my Mom's dogs when we got back from our trip in June (my Mom is a breeder) and decided they wanted one. Oh! He is just darling! I'm so excited because I get to play with him and love on him but I don't have to potty train him!

We went and checked in at our hotel before we delivered Coal. Really, it was so I could play with him. It is a good thing I didn't get that much time with him because... well, I might have decided I wanted to keep him and I would have ended up with no friends and... no husband.
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I have to tell you, these beds were incredible! They had goose down comforters and pillows. And not the cheap kind like I had at home where the feathers stuck through the pillows and scratched your face all night. It was like sleeping in a cloud. Of course, I got the whole bed to myself AND all four pillows. It was wonderful. Only... now I am not content with my current bedding. Hopefully, the memory will fade and I'll slip back into blessed ignorance.

Friday Morning we were this close to the stage at the Women of Faith Conference! Wow! It was incredible and such a blessing! This is the worship team. These girls sang like angels. If you've been reading this blog you know that I cannot sing or hum due to the SD but I did mouth along and pretend that their voices were coming out of me.

Guess What?!?! We got to meet Patsy Clairmont! That there in the middle is the back of her head. I didn't ask to take her picture with my Mom... I wish I did now. It's a good thing I came to my senses and took this one, eh? We also got to meet two of her friends and fellow speaker/entertainers... Jan Silvious to the left of Patsy and Anita Renfroe to the right.
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Don't they all have great hair? Their Mamas taught them good! My Mama had to work hard with me... when I was in high school I often thought the back didn't matter because I couldn't see it. She set me straight!

These were our seats on Friday night. There's my Mama on the left. It was scary up there! We were one row down from the very top. A group of gals came through that had to squeeze past us to get to their seats and the itty bitty Mama of that group grabbed hold of me and then my Mom. She was really scared. She sat next to my Mom and said, "How nice we get to worship the Lord up here with all the angels!" We told the group in front of us we were glad they were there when they got there because they would break our fall. It was a lot of fun!

Not so much fun that we wanted to stay up there though! This picture was taken from our seats on Saturday. Nicole C. Mullens is performing here and WOW!!!
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Y'all, we had the BEST time! If there is a Women of Faith Conference coming near you, GO!!! These are real women with real stories and you will be so encouraged and uplifted! And you will LAUGH! Check out the Women of Faith website where you can see clips of the different speakers!
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Head on over to Dishing with Debbie! Watch the little clip and you'll see that I won a prize!!! I don't know what it is yet, I'll let you know when I get it. Anyway, the story I left was about the time I was desperate for a shower when my girls were babies.
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My oldest, Chai Tea, was mesmerized by the television. We really limited TV and videos but they did come in handy when I needed to keep her busy and out of things. Frappacino was in her crib asleep and there was no way I was going to get Chai Tea down. She was two at the time and naps were not for her! I decided to set her in front of the TV and take a quick shower... yeah.
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So, I got out of the shower to find that she had gotten the eggs out of the fridge and cracked them open all over the carpet in the living room. We were renting and the carpet was new. I was very upset and called a friend. She was a wonderful mentor to me and she settled me down, prayed with me and told me how to get the egg out of the carpet (get as much up as I could with dry paper towels and then use a cloth and cold water to blot up the rest). I was worried that it was going to ruin the carpet and we were going to have to pay for it. It took me a good bit of time to take care of that. When I was done and it was clear that the carpet was fine I sat Chai Tea down.
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I told her that what she had done was a very bad thing and that she was going to be disciplined. She sat and listened to me intently and took her couple swats to the bottom. I prayed with her and we hugged. She then looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and said, "Mama, why no chicks in eggs?"
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Being a Mom is so hard. You can get lost in all those day to day mundane tasks and lose perspective so easily. In many ways, it is hard for me to believe that the egg incident happened 17 years ago... My initial reaction to all of that was anger. I didn't understand why she would do something so destructive. I had been checking books out at the library and there was a particular book that she wanted me to read over and over. It was about a class that incubated chicks...
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Perspective...
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Oh, hey... guess what? I've adopted a boy. He's 11 and he lives in Mozambique. His name is Bernardo. I picked him because he looks like he might be angry... and hopeless. I don't know if I can... but I am really praying I can give him a little bit of hope. I haven't really "adopted" him but I am sponsoring him. I am adopting him in my heart though and even if I never get to meet him I am going to be praying for him... and loving him. Check out World Vision... maybe there's a child's life you can help change.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Have a fAnTaStIc Weekend Everyone!!!

My Mama and I are heading to Denver and the Women of Faith Conference!!! Just a couple of hours until I pick her up at the airport... ooooooh! I am SO EXCITED!!!

I thought about blogging about the conference during breaks but... NO. I want to spend every second with my Mama and I'm not even going to take my laptop. Nope Nope NOPE!!!

I will be back on MONDAY!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My Mother-in-Law

I just got off of the phone with my Mother-in-Law so I now have something to blog about today!

First of all, I should give y'all a little background info. She was quite wild during Mr. Macchiato's growing up years. In fact, I like to tell the joke that Mr. Macchiato's act of rebellion was to become a church going Republican accountant.

I first met her the day Mr. Macchiato got baptized. At that time in her life she claimed to be an atheist and I can still recall some of her arguments as to why she stopped believing. She came back round.

She LOVED going to rock concerts and had zillions of t-shirts from all of the ones she'd been to. She still loves music videos and talking about music. Movies too.

She LOVES dogs. Now, I love dogs too but in a persnickety way. I cannot stand dog hair on stuff or the smell of a wet dog. I do not allow my dogs on our furniture. In fact, I don't even like them lying on the carpet. If they are going to nap it has to NOT be on the carpet or they have to go in their crates. I do not allow my dogs to lick my face... ever. That is gross! I also wash my hands after I pet them. My mother-in-law lets her dog sleep in her bed, let's him take treats that she holds in her mouth, would never ever in a million years make her dog go into a crate unless they are going on a plane, and takes her dog absolutely everywhere she can... as well as sometimes taking him where she shouldn't. Leash laws? Forget about it!

My Mother-in-Law is all about comfort. Bras? They're for church. And it just might come off before you get out of the parking lot. She was visiting us years ago for Chai Tea's 7th birthday and had gone to read to her class. Afterwards we took Double Shot and Frappy's kindergarten teacher's baby to Costco. My Mother-in-Law's knees were bothering her so she wanted to wait in the car with the boys. It was hot so I did what I needed to do as quickly as possible. As I was walking toward the car I could see that she had gotten the baby out of his car seat and was holding him up front. To me... it looked like she was naked. I rushed toward them and whipped open the door. She was wearing a nude colored bra and her sweater was laying on the seat. I hollered at her wanting to know what on earth she was doing. She just looked up at me like it was obvious and said, "I was hot." (Now, so you know, I was raised by the woman who told me to sleep with a bra on so my boobs don't droop. In fact, one of my cousins told me not long ago that she has followed my mother's advice and attributes her perkiness, even after 4 children, to that advice) I yelled at her to get her shirt back on!

My Mother-in-Law used to just sleep in the concert t-shirt she wore during the day and her underwear. She's got some pretty cute jammies these days but I think she just wears them when it is cold. When we were living in Mississippi... a.k.a. the land where you don't go to your mailbox without lipstick... I got up one morning when she was visiting and couldn't find her. I looked out of our front windows to see that she had gone outside with her dog... and was at the end of our driveway retrieving our newspaper... in a concert t-shirt and her underwear... in fact, the moment I laid eyes on her was as she was bending over to pick the paper up.

Another time she was visiting us in Mississippi we took her dog out to the Ross Barnett Reservoir which was really close to our house. We went to a particular park that had a wall at the water's edge and where the water was about 3-4 feet deep. Her dog had a great time in the water but he could not get out. She was wearing white spandex shorts with a white spandex camisole under a big blouse. She took off the blouse along with her socks and shoes and hopped down into the water to help him. She is only 5 ft tall. Her dog started flipping out and it was quite a struggle. Some teenage boys came round to give her a hand and got themselves an eye full as her clothes had become completely transparent. She may as well have been naked. One of those boys eyes got so big and he about broke his arm trying to get the attention of the other two boys from the dog and onto my mother-in-law. It was quite a scene with everyone in the park looking our way. That boy's face and the looks on the other boys' faces as they looked at this crazy woman trying to get her dog out of the water just about did me in forever. I was laughing so hard I almost wet myself. In fact, by the time we got to the car I was suffering from oxygen deprivation and could hardly get the door open. When we got home our Mississippi born and bred pastor was at the house which made me laugh even harder.

So... I was on the phone with her a bit ago. She was on her cell phone at a lake with her dog. Frappy admitted to me yesterday that she'd gotten drunk and threw up. We are distressed but we were careful not to freak out. Gotta keep those lines of communication open ya know. But... I did tell the Grandmas. My Mother-in-Law has got the lecturing thing DOWN. Frappy will be getting an e-mail, a letter in the mail (most likely complete with articles snipped from magazines or printed off the Internet in a HUGE envelope) and many calls. He He!!!

Anyway, my Mother-in-Law attended the rally for John McCain and Sarah Palin in Youngstown yesterday. She has terrible trouble with her knees and back and is in excruciating pain much of the time. She went with a friend and they decided to take a wheelchair... which was a good thing because they had to wait four hours. Because she was in a wheelchair they put her right up front. She actually sat on the floor most of the time but at the end she stood up because she saw John McCain coming her way. When he shook her hand she told him, "I love you!" and then burst into tears. She then shook Cindy McCain's and Todd Palin's hands and got Sarah Palin to sign her ticket. She is positively over the moon.

She said the following to me which is just cracking me up, "Todd Palin is a total babe! Oh my God! He is gorgeous!" and... "This was so much better than all the times I saw Mick Jagger!"

Gotta love it!

Ask Coffee Bean!

So lame... I know. I am just drawing a blank this morning on what to post about here on the Righteous Buzz! So, if there's anything you want to know... ask away!

Guess what?!?!

I was contacted by a cooking show that I submitted a funny little story to and they are going to use it on the show and are sending me some prize! It is supposed to air on the 22nd and it will also be on their website... I'll put the link up then.

And... my Mama flies in tomorrow! She and I are going to the Women of Faith Conference in Denver and staying in a hotel... that means I don't have to share her with the kiddos until Saturday night! He He!!! So I am cleaning today. Hopefully, the boys will not mess things up too bad while I'm gone. Double Shot has already been moaning and groaning about being left with his Dad and worrying that he's not going to get anything good to eat!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Whoop Whoop!!!

Here is the close up... Thanks Two Dogs! I really should learn me some computer skills! I feel bad for saying the JV isn't doing so hot... They are 2 and 1 and 1 (that means they've won two, tied one and lost one... I just learned that). They won 40 to 0 yesterday! The last game, the one the picture above was taken at, they got whupped up on pretty bad. I can't remember the exact score (its best to forget those things in these here parts lest the young one get grumpy) but it was something like the high 30's to 6. The Varsity team is proving to be a force to be reckoned with this year and everyone is holding their breath for this weekend's game. They are playing the team that placed second at state last year in their division. We don't know yet if they are going to have Double Shot dress for it. The swing players are told a couple days before. If he does, he probably won't actually play but he'd sure like to be dressed and on the side lines cheering the team on.

Double Shot is driving us crazy. You'd think two adults could handle one teen boy... well, we are but it ain't easy. This kid is a bear to get up in the morning. The very same kid that did not sleep through the night until he was 14 years old. That is not a joke. Two months ago we took him to the asthma specialist and he was 5'8" exactly. We had to go back six weeks later and he was 5'9" exactly. It seems that growth spurt we've been awaiting has arrived. It'll be interesting to see if he's grown again when we go back in four weeks.
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Have y'all been enjoying the moon the last couple of nights? It was beautiful last night. It reminded Mr. Macchiato and I of when Double Shot was little. He was a crabby baby. Really crabby. So crabby we didn't have any more children crabby. I kid! We didn't have more children because my pregnancies were all high risk with some pretty major complications. He was crabby though. We had a terrible time getting him to sleep at night and then keeping him asleep (just didn't happen). Sometimes I would take him out into the yard and we would look up at the moon. He would get real quiet and say, "The Moooon." He could be screaming and if the moon was out I would tell him and he would instantly stop and want to go look. He was darling with angel blond hair and curls... and chubby! When Double Shot was four just him and I were in the car one night and there was a harvest moon. It was huge and seemed so very close. I got excited and pointed it out to him and he said, "Eh... I seen it before." I was crushed.
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I miss my babies. Why do they have to grow up so fast?

Monday, September 15, 2008

Politics and Football

Y'all see that tackle there? See how the guy with the ball hasn't even hit the ground yet? If I knew how to crop and enlarge photos I would... that's Double Shot making the tackle. He likes to dive at his victims and hit 'em low. Got a JV game today. He got to dress and play in the Varsity game again on Friday. He wants a letter so bad... I hope he makes it! The Varsity team is smokin' hot this year. They've won all three games so far by huge margins! The JV team? uh... not so hot. Hoping for a good game today! Poor Double Shot had to wear a shirt and tie because they are traveling.

I actually watched the end of the Bronco game yesterday. Mr. Macchiato and Double Shot were pretty darn impressed. What can I say? It was a pretty exciting game. I normally limit my sports watching to games my kids are actually playing in... or Mr. Macchiato when he played soft ball.

Politics... boring politics!!! Not quite so boring right now... I'm kind of consumed.

Oh my gosh... this isn't going to make me manish is it? I'm already taller than the average man! I need to go fluff my hair and put on some perfume and lip gloss!

This Early Bird ain't No Night Owl

My my my... I am up LATE! I had a fun weekend and didn't get on the computer until almost 9 pm on Sunday. I got caught up thinking about stuff on my other blog and could NOT sleep. I'm going to be dragging tomorrow morning for sure! I've also got a busy day...

AND I can't think of anything funny to post!

Tell me what you did this weekend!

Friday, September 12, 2008

What the Heck?!?!?!

Yesterday I was running around cleaning like a good little wife... and well, since I was home alone, I wasn't exactly dressed in such a way as to answer the door when the doorbell rang. The dogs were outside and I had the stereo on and... my car in the driveway. I looked at the clock and it was 9:30 am. I couldn't go answer the door! I slinked up the stairs from the family room and waited there in the stairwell. I thought whoever it was had moved away from the door (which has glass) and quickly went up the other stairs to my bedroom. Then the door bell rang again! I was standing in my room wondering if I should throw something on real quick and run down there but.... then this person knocked on the door and then... I kid you not... started BEATING on my door. It really unnerved me. I tiptoed over to the blinds and peeked out of the window and saw the Chem Lawn truck... The guy needed me to put the dogs up. I then decided to run down there and tell him that I'd put the dogs up but I saw him leave the porch and just by the way he was moving and obviously swearing to himself I hesitated. I was glad I didn't run down there when I saw the way he pulled away from the house.

I then felt guilty for not being presentable enough to answer the door... but, what if I'd been in the shower? What if I'd been laying in bed sick? I checked the messages to see if we'd gotten a reminder call.... no. But, we do have a card somewhere that says what days they'll be out for the next six months or something. Did I screw up his whole day? I feel bad, but at the same time the whole thing was creepy. Who beats on someone's door like that? What the heck?!?!

I met Mr. Macchiato for lunch yesterday. We went to a little Mexican restaurant that we've always really liked. We haven't been there in a long time because almost two years ago someone that worked there took Mr. Macchiato's numbers from his check card and rented a limo and a room at a fancy hotel. It was around Christmas time and while we got everything worked out our account was frozen and we couldn't access ANY of our money. The woman was not caught until March of the following year. Some time passed before we felt like going there again and then the food was not as good as it had been before. Well, we bought one of those coupon books from some adorable freckle faced twin boys that came to the door last week and there was a coupon in there for a buy one get one free lunch for that restaurant. We both got the special which was seafood enchiladas. Mr. Macchiato came home from work early and spent much of the night in the bathroom. My system must be sluggish or something because it didn't hit me until the middle of the night. We are never going there again and Mr. Macchiato just sang, "Crappy Birthday," to me before leaving for work.

And it poured all night and it is still raining. Something I would normally really enjoy but... there's BENNY. Benny, who thinks bad weather is for FUN. Benny, who is all muddy and stuffed in his traveling crate in the garage... who is out there whining about it... I'm going to have to figure out a way to get him clean... IN THE RAIN. Why oh why oh why can you not teach a dog to stay away from mud? I should take him out on leash when the weather is bad.

Aww! I just got a call from my happy friend! I was feeling mighty grumpy but I can't stay grumpy when I'm smiling. Thanks Paula! Oh! And guess what she told me?!?! It is snowing in Woodland Park!!! That is not far from here. Yikes! We both hope this doesn't screw up the changing of the leaves!

I hope y'all have a Great NON-Craptastic Day!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

hApPy BiRtHdaY Mr. Macchiato!!!

Let me tell y'all about Mr. Macchiato.

He is a construction accountant. He has never worn a pocket protector and hates all accountant stereo types. His degree is actually in Finance. His major in college was originally architecture. He is very good at what he does and has been an excellent provider for our family.

He is pretty quiet in most situations. He says he's not shy but reserved. He can make people feel uncomfortable when he first meets them and many of our friends have some pretty funny stories in regard to that. He's a very good judge of character and over the years I have learned to take what he has to say seriously where other people are concerned. He is not often wrong.

He has a great sense of humor and a love of puns.

He is tenacious. This sometimes annoys me. My natural inclination is to avoid confrontation and to keep things that are bothering me to myself. Over the years he's gotten good at reading me and will hound me until I get it out... even if it means I'm going to say something he won't like.

He's a really good Dad. There's nothing more important to him than me and our children. We didn't get to see a lot of him in Mississippi due to his job. He made really good money when he accepted a job here in Colorado for less money... and an area that was much more expensive than where we were. On paper it looked like a bad decision and there were often times when we felt that we'd made a mistake by moving... and then one or all of our kids would say that it was better here because they got to see their Dad. He still works a lot of hours but rarely on the weekends.

He takes me to lunch once a week... sometimes more. He also goes with me to doctors appointments if he can. He calls me at least once a day, usually more. He likes/loves just about everything I cook... even though I think any kind of juice in meat means it isn't cooked.

I love him! I love him! I love him!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Why You Should Never Do These Things

10. Forget to set your parking brake...

I once lost my car in a parking garage because it had rolled all the way over to a wall from the middle of the garage. Amazingly, it did not hit any other cars.

9. Shave between your eyebrows...

I inherited a unibrow from Dear Old Dad. One time I was in a bit of a hurry and noticed my eyebrows had gone wild again... uh, yeah. It's a bit too easy to go too far.

8. Teach you children the proper names for certain body parts...

I felt that it was important to teach my children the proper names for all their body parts from the get go. None of that silly stuff or embarrassment in our house! Well... we were in a very large bank with vaulted ceilings that had to be 2o ft. high or so. We were closing our account because we were moving from California to Mississippi and there were no Wells Fargos there. The bank happened to have a little play area for small children that we could see from the line so we sent Double Shot over there. He had just had his fourth birthday and there were a couple of other children there around his age. Double Shot picked up a truck that the other little boy decided he wanted and so he grabbed it away and in the process must have bumped Double Shot "down there" because he started hollering, "He touched my penis! He touched my penis!" From that day forward to this very day we say any odd combination of words we can think of when referring to certain body parts... ta ta's, hoo hoo's, willa donkers, woimple froimps, etc.

7. Catch a softball with your thighs...

When I was in high school I got stuck out in right field playing softball in CO-ED P.E. Yes, I sucked. Well, a ball actually came my way and fell right into my glove... or so I was in the position for it to do so... I actually caught the ball between my thighs and suffered through stupid teen boy references to it the remainder of my high school days.

6. Let bikini wax grow cold...

Umm... yeah. So... we were going to go on vacation in a couple of days and I thought I'd try it. The girls were babies and we had been at a BBQ at a friend's house nearby. I took the girls home for their naps while Mr. Macchiato stayed at the party and thought it would be a good time to take care of that business. Well.... THAT HURTS so I couldn't exactly... well, finish the job. Mr. Macchiato came home and I was in tears. He was more than glad to help me out. He says that I flopped around on the floor like a fish out of water while screaming but I don't remember that. I do believe my soul was momentarily separated from my body and sent to the very depths of hell. Just the mention of it puts a twinkle in Mr. Macchiato's eye as peals of laughter erupt from deep within him and ring through the air.

5. Refuse a pre-delivery enema...

Yeah... Nuff said about that one.

4. Try on foundation undergarments a size too small in a Wal-Mart dressing room...

So... my brother was getting married and I wanted to look, you know, smaller. I headed off to Wal-mart because I didn't want to spend a lot of money on something like that. I picked out several differing varieties and headed for the dressing rooms. I'm not particularly fond of being in small places and especially not small places with gigantic mirrors. I stripped down and put on this... thing. Oh... it held things in all right... it held things in and then squished it all right out the top. Cleavage up to the chin is not exactly my idea of sexy. Not that I was going for sexy... I needed to get out of it right away. My head was pounding and I started to sweat. I felt like the time my Mom bought me toe socks for Christmas and I freaked out and couldn't even pull them off my feet myself. I can't describe it really... it is a panicky feeling mixed in with nausea mixed in with crazy. Only Mom wasn't in the Wal-Mart dressing room to help me out! I could hear people all around outside and when I finally got it off, it shot like a sling shot across the dressing room.

Well, you'd think that would be enough for me. No. I bought one a couple sizes bigger that I could get in and out of easily. It actually looked like a little black dress. I wore it under my dress to the rehearsal lunch. As my Mom and I were walking out to her car afterwards I caught my reflection in the car windows. That little thing had worked its way up when I was walking, bunching up all around my waist and you could see it as the wind pressed my dress up against my body. I tried to work it back down right there in the parking lot and then saw one of my brother's super good looking friends and his wife looking over at me in horror as they walked back to their car.

I still have that thing. It is in a drawer with many other things of its kind. I only open that drawer once a year, you know, during holiday party time. And then I slam it shut.

3. Not drink anything when out and about to avoid having to use a public restroom...

I have an aversion to public restrooms. I hate them. They are disgusting. I have gone to great lengths in my life to avoid them. My mother always taught me to lay strips of toilet paper across the seat (back in the day they didn't have toilet seat covers) but they would invariably slide into the toilet or off onto the floor before I could sit on them. She also taught me "the hover." The stress of trying to sit on the toilet paper while not breathing and then hovering because the toilet paper fell would cause me to have performance anxiety. Then there was the whole washing of hands without actually touching anything. So... I began a habit of not drinking anything if I was going to be out and about.

Of course, this little habit didn't always work. There was the time I was standing in line at the grocery store with my back teeth floating and a rotten little brat of a kid hit me with his mother's cart... yeah, there was leakage.

And then there was the time I was on an airplane and hoping I could make it to the airport to go... but, was forced to use the air plane potty... in which I didn't even have time to waste with seat covers and was just going to do "the hover" when we hit a bit of turbulence which caused me to sit on the the toilet... the toilet that had been sprayed by the big giant man that had been in there before me... the man that I had to go find afterwards, which I did. And I stood there staring at him... trying to determine if I should go see a doctor once the plane landed before going back to my seat.

I've got dozens of stories. Dozens.

Now listen to me... Do NOT stop drinking just to avoid public restrooms. Why? A year and a half ago I got a kidney stone. People, they are so right about it hurting worse than labor. It hurts so bad that you scream and cry no matter who is looking at you. It took me 5 days to pass that $!@#&... 3 trips to the ER, an ambulance ride, and an admission to the hospital.

2. Momentarily forget you are lactose intolerant while on a road trip...

I am the self proclaimed Bubba of Pumpkin. I love me some pumpkin! Pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pie, pumpkin pudding, pumpkin soup, pumpkin mousse, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin cookies, and... pumpkin ice cream. Several years ago we had gone back to Mississippi for Thanksgiving. We drove. Well, on the way home we stopped at a gas station in New Mexico that had a Dairy Queen inside. They had a big cardboard sign right by the door that advertised their very special pumpkin blizzard. We all got a little sumpthin and loaded back up into the car. I thoroughly enjoyed that blizzard. On my very last bite I felt a little... pain. (cue pshycho music) I looked over at Mr. Macchiato and when he saw my eyes bugging out he looked at the empty blizzard cup and we both said, "OH NO!" We totally forgot about my little ice cream problem. At home I've got lots of lactaid... and my own bathrooms... so I still eat it. But, we were stuck in the car in the middle of NOWHERE! We did make it to a Texaco. Just barely. We hung out there for quite some time. Let's just say, "What happens in Texaco, stays in Texaco."

1. Leave a bunch of bleach in the toilet...

Because, well, your darling husband might go in there for a little sit down... and not know the bleach is in there... and well, you might just be walking into the room when you see your darling husband fling himself out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles... coughing and sputtering... because, well, certain compounds, when mixed... create a chemical reaction that can be... well, deadly. And this is why Mr. Macchiato will not increase his life insurance.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Things You Should Never Do

10. Forget to set your parking brake...



9. Shave between your eyebrows...



8. Teach you children the proper names for certain body parts...



7. Catch a softball with your thighs...



6. Let bikini wax grow cold...



5. Refuse a pre-delivery enema...



4. Try on foundation undergarments a size too small in a Wal-Mart dressing room...



3. Not drink anything when out and about to avoid having to use a public restroom...



2. Momentarily forget you are lactose intolerant while on a road trip...



1. Leave a bunch of bleach in the toilet...

I might or I might not tell you the stories behind those one day...

Monday, September 8, 2008

Glurg... Another Monday.

My usual exuberance for Mondays is absent today. I've got a wicked earache. I wasted the morning away wallering in my bed. The rest of this day is going to be spent cleaning up from the weekend, dusting, vacuuming, doing laundry and ironing. wooo hoooo.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

It's S.A.T.U.R.D.A.Y.

And do you think I can sleep in just a little bit? That Benny! ooooooooh!!! 6 am rolls around and he's up and ready to go! Why can't that dog realize it is the WEEKEND and I don't want to get up at 6 AM!!! AARRUUGGHH!!!

A lot of times I can just let the dogs out and then let them back in a couple minutes later, put them back in their crates and then head back to bed. Not today! Everything is wet which means I had to wipe their paws before letting them in. Lu Lu is a good old girl and knows the drill. She nicely lays on her back and lets me wipe all of her paws while she looks at me. When I am done, I rub her belly and tell her she's getting to be a chubby old lady and then she squiggles into my lap and I scratch behind her ears and then she is free to go.

I sit on the floor right by the back door while I am doing this. When we are not dealing with wet or muddy paws or snow it is not a big deal. I just open the door and let them in. Booper sees the towel and goes bananas. I have to open the door a crack and grab his collar and then make him lay down. He's good for the two front paws and manageable for the third. The last? Oh good grief. This dog is so smiley and happy and bouncy and he just wants to PLAY. He gets that towel in his mouth and is all ready for a game of tug-o-war!

Lu Lu just went and got in her crate by herself, like she almost always does. Of course, she went into Benny's first and stole his bone. No matter that she has one of her own. I took it from her and was luring Booper back into his crate when he snagged it from me and ran upstairs. He was all shiny eyed and proud of himself standing at the top of the stairs, all a wiggle and doing his adorable play with me growl. He then plopped down on his forelegs with his rump in the air saying, "Play with me Mama! Play with me!" I started up the stairs and he ran all willy nilly crazy down the hall and then jumped all over Mr. Macchiato who was still sleeping.

I finally got him to come down and rubbed his belly for awhile. If you rub his chest or his belly he instantly freezes and then slides down to the floor with a rapturous look on his face. I absolutely love the way this dog just gazes into my eyes and smiles. Lu Lu looks into our eyes too, but not for long. She's kind of a strange dog... almost catlike in some ways. She's also a tad moody.

Anyway, after all that there was no way I was going back to bed. I got on the other blog and wrote a post before doing this one. The earlier excitement is waning so I have got to make some coffee! Double Shot got put in last night's Varsity game during the 2nd quarter and then was pretty much in the rest of the game at safety... and some receiver. He never got the ball passed his way though. That boy sure does want to make a touch down! He's excited because he might get to letter this year. They won 54 to 6 and that 6 points was made right at the buzz of the 4th quarter! They did let them go for the 2 point conversion, but it was no good. Double Shot is annoyed that I was glad for the other team. He shows no mercy in sports. Anyway, the JV game is today.

The Frapster is most definitely home. Her bathroom looks like a bomb went off in it! She was so sweet and kept calling me on her way home because she wanted to get there before I had to leave for Double Shot's game. I ended up being late because I waited for her. We haven't seen each other since that hasty hug at the car shop up at her school. She gave me such a hug and squeeze that I could feel her heart thumpity thumping and I smelled her. She's always had a unique smell... like fresh warm straw. My other kids aren't like that.... unless, where Double Shot is concerned, you count sweat. She hung out with her boyfriend, Hot Chocolate. Today she reserved for us. Awwww.

Oh, that book, The Naked Roommate and 107 Other Things You May See in College... she brought it home. It is a secular book that just gives a lot of advice on how to handle many of the issues one faces in college. My Mother-in-law actually only read the section on sex. She highlighted all the parts that were warnings... like being careful of your reputation and not "losing it" when you are drunk and that those decisions you make can become a problem in later relationships... that sort of thing. There are places where it says to be sure you are comfortable with the person and that you are able to communicate about things such as birth control and STD's. She crossed out the stuff about being comfortable on who you choose to be with and put stuff about her future husband. Oh, and there was something about the "first time" that she crossed out and put, "On your wedding night with your husband!!!" with it underlined. It seems to be a good book with a lot of common sense... minus any kind of faith. But, we've taught her everything we could and have been as open as we can be. Those decisions are hers now.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Football... and MORE Football

Double Shot has football practice at 6:30 am. He is dressing for the Varsity game tonight. They feed the Varsity players so I won't see him until the game. Then he has the JV game on Saturday. I'm already tired of football. And they haven't even started watching games on TV yet. Of course, this year I may not mind much seeing as no one will notice if I'm on the computer or not. I'm really pretty good about it all. I usually just have one meltdown of monumental proportion over all the football watching once a year that usually ends with Mr. Macchiato buying me a new piece of furniture. We usually throw a Super Bowl Party at which I am celebrating the END of it all.

Little Miss Frappy is coming home this weekend. She wants to make her Daddy and me a birthday cake. Mr. Macchiato is one year and one day older than me so it is 43 and 42 this year. That wigs me out a bit. My parents were 42 when Chai Tea was born. Our birthdays are toward the end of next week but Frappy wants to stay at school next weekend because it will be her roommate's 18th birthday. They have plans.

Frappy has been calling me a lot. Cell phone family plans are really cool. She was cracking me up the other day when she told me about a package my mother-in-law sent her full of books. Some of them were Christian and others were not. My mil talked to my husband about one of them before she sent it and he asked her to read it first to make sure it wasn't inappropriate. It is titled, The Naked Roommate. Well she did. I don't know what all is in there but she wrote Frappy a note and then had highlighted all the stuff about sex and then blacked out certain words and put different ones in their place. When some of the girls in her hall saw she got a package they all piled into her room and took turns reading the highlighted parts while howling with laughter. They all got a big kick out of Grandma. I hope she brings it home so I can take a peek.

Have a Great Friday! The winner of this weeks Starbucks card will be announced over on the other blog.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Just Stuff

Ugh! Double Shot has been in school for over two weeks and I'm still having to fill stuff out and send check after check. The only checks we ever write anymore are for school. This morning it was this long form in which contained many boxes to initial including one that Double Shot and I had both read the Student Handbook. I initialed it but, no, I did not read it. I did when we put him in school in the 7th grade. So... I'm not a total liar, right? And so you know, his school is K-12. I am all stressed out and feel like a fraud... ugh. I'll read it again. Like I said to myself I would last year.

And another thing I've been stressed about. My grammar. So, I totally know that I often write in incomplete sentences and you aren't supposed to start sentences with "and"... and I use "... " way too much and I stress about whether I am using apostrophe's where I should and I homeschooled my kids you know... so shouldn't I be using the right and proper grammar? Should I pull out our homeschool materials and relearn me some grammar?

And why do I keep dreaming that I'm miraculously pregnant or just given birth to a baby? I'll be 42 next week and that baby making factory done been burnt down. I actually wake up disappointed that it isn't true.

And guess what? I used to be very social, you know, before ole froggy toad came and set up shop in my vocal chords. Mr. Macchiato had himself a big ole fit on Monday because we had plans to go to our friend's house for a Labor Day BBQ and when I found out the day before that there were going to be, like, 30 people there, most of which I did not know... I didn't want to go. Of course, I did go but not before Mr. Macchiato ranted about how he cannot believe I, of all people, have gotten into blogging. A couple years back I even wrote an article against it. He even jumped up and down about me not going out with my friends and he made me cry. So... this morning I have a friend coming over for tea and then I am going out with another friend for lunch. And I'm glad. I just wish Mr. Macchiato would jump up and down and tell me I should buy a bunch of new clothes!

What have y'all got going today?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Blogaholic Tricks of the Trade

Because I am a housewife, these blogaholic tricks are limited to my experiences being home all day. Any working blogaholics should post their own tricks of the trade so that others may learn. We need to stick together. Blogaholics Unite!

It is best to shower and dress first thing. Be sure to take the time to look your best. I know there are days that only the pets see you, but it is best to be prepared for whatever life throws your way... the UPS man, a nosey neighbor, the Jehovah's Witnesses, or unexpected trips to the ER with loved ones.

Try to make good use of your time. You can easily be doing loads of laundry as you peruse through your favorite blogs. Set up a routine. Soon it will become second nature and you will hardly notice as your multi-tasking skills kick in and your productivity rises. Have set times in which you allow yourself to be on the computer. Realize that it is okay to not read every one's blog every day.

Use your computer time wisely and write your posts the day before. Use the post options. That is what they are there for. If you have a slow day... tuck some posts away in your drafts for those days when you just don't feel up to blogging or you have a busy morning ahead of you. Blogging need not be stressful! If you need a break take one. Your blog is whatever you want it to be.

However, if... say... you got in a little argument with your significant other the day before about how much time you are spending on the computer... and you get on the computer before taking a shower... and are horrified because even though you've been telling yourself you are going to get off... just. one. more. thing. And you are faint with hunger and look at the clock to discover it is 3 PM and you are STILL. IN. YOUR. JAMMIES. Here is what you need to do:

Quick! Run and take a shower! Make it quick! Forget things like shaving and lotion. There's not a lot of time.

Wear something you happen to know for a fact that your significant other likes on you. No sweats! Especially old worn out ones with holes in unmentionable places!

Flip your head upside down and dry your hair that way. You are going for the tousled look because it can be done quick. Flip your head up and shake it out... now spray it with loose hold spray. No heavy duty stuff today!

No time for full make-up. Little mascara... little color on the cheeks... and lip gloss.

DO NOT FORGET THE PERFUME!

Now, quickly tidy up. Make sure stuff that was lying around that morning is, at the very least, moved. You do not want the house to look exactly the same as it did when people left that morning.

Clean glass or shiny surfaces that have any smudges.

Light a candle.

Throw some food in a pot. Spaghetti is quick, easy and always a pleaser. Have already cooked and frozen meatballs on hand at all times! Garlic toast too!

When your beloved significant other arrives home... meet him at the door with a kiss.

Trust me.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Adjusting

Nearly two weeks ago, after I dropped Frappy off at college, I was pretty bummed out driving home. The timing worked out so that I was able to pick Double Shot up after practice. He was expecting his father to pick him up so when he saw me his whole face lit up and the first thing he said when he got in the car was how glad he was I was picking him up and how much he missed me. My heart did a little pitty pat happy dance. He then went on to tell me how Mr. Macchiato made him make his own lunch and even though he put the same stuff in it that I do... It wasn't any good. The pitty pat happy dance faltered for a moment but... hey, I'd had a bad day. He was glad to see me and it was okay if it was partly because he had to make his own lunch.

Double Shot then told me that he likes me picking him up from practice and not Mr. Macchiato or Frappy. Oh, that little pitty pat happy dance picked up the pace! How Sweet! Yeah. Apparently, I don't complain about him stinking. I was a bit shocked by that because I sure think it. Well, Mr. Macchiato rolls Double Shot's window down and then locks it from his side and even if Double Shot is cold... will not roll it up. And according to Double Shot, Mr. Macchiato tells him 40 billion times that he stinks on the half hour ride home. Frappy? Well, it seems she's not so much like me as I thought. In this instance she's all Daddy. Only worse because, according to Double Shot, she is a shrieking shrew of a sister. He then told me I was AWESOME! Yup. He sure did.

Poor Double Shot was also starving to death. He wanted me to please stop at Target and pick up a Buffalo chicken wrap... and sushi. Of course, I did. No way was I cooking when I got home and just on the off chance that maybe Mr. Macchiato was preparing dinner for us... I called and asked. I got a big bowl of nope followed by an awkward sort of silence in which I am sure he was wondering if I'd landed on some other planet by thinking he was at home flitting around in my apron and whipping up a surprise feast. Then Double Shot informed me that the night before he'd had to fix himself oatmeal for dinner. He was horrified. He said he might have died if I hadn't come home.

Oh that boy sure did miss me! It lasted a whole day! Wow. But, I'll take it. And I laugh every time I think about all of the horrors he had to endure while I was away. I also happened upon a brand new parenting tool. It's working too. Double Shot, the lean mean eating machine... has the worst table manners. It drives us crazy. He's like cookie monster when he eats and when he leaves the table there's a ring of crumbs around where he sat. He's an animal. So, when he belched at the table the next night, it occurred to me mid Medusa morph, that I actually had some power over him. I then informed him that if he didn't display the proper manners at the dinner table then I would not make his lunch the following day. He laughed at me. The next morning he had to make his own lunch and he wasn't laughing any more. He didn't even make himself a sandwich. He just threw in whatever packaged stuff he could find. That night at dinner... his manners had miraculously improved.

We are settling in and getting used to just having Double Shot around. There are some pretty cool perks that we discovered before Frappy even left for college but was off on her little world tour... like when Double Shot spends the night at a friend's house... We are Alone. in. the. House. There is no fighting amongst siblings. Just those two things are a.m.a.z.i.n.g. Of course, there's also a few down sides... like the fact that Double Shot doesn' t have his sisters around to torture so he's turned his sights toward us. Well, mainly me. I am now stalked in my own home. It is the worst at night. When it is dark. He lies in wait for me. And he gets me nearly every time. The most annoying part is his laughing and almost incomprehensible re-enactments. It appears I am his new toy. He scared me so bad the other night that I'm still recovering.

Some of the adjustments are a bit odd... We don't need as much toilet paper for one.