Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Looking Forward

This wasn't my best year. In fact, I rank it among the worst. I told myself I wasn't going to look back. That this year didn't matter... but it did.

Attitude plays such an important part in our lives. Sometimes it is really hard to be positive. Sometimes it is really hard to accept that there are things in my life over which I have no control. Sometimes I just don't want to deal with any of it. Sometimes I just don't want to believe that I have a choice in how I view things... how I feel about things... but I do.

It's been 3 years since my SD diagnosis. I still struggle with it and how it affects my life. I hate it. Sometimes it makes me angry. Mostly, it just makes me feel sorry for myself. But that's not right... I choose to be angry and I choose to feel sorry for myself.

I was listening to Third Day awhile ago and their song, Offering, came on. I just stood still and listened to it...

Magnificent Holy Father
I stand in awe of all I see
Of all the things You have created
But still You choose to think of me

Who am I that You should suffer
Your very life to set me free
The only thing that I can give You
Is the life you gave to me

This is my offering, dear Lord
This is my offering to You, God
And I will give You my life
For it's all I have to give
Because You gave your life for me

I stand before You at this altar
So many have given You more
I may not have much I can offer
Yet what I have is truly Yours

This is my offering

I was struck by, I stand before You at this altar... So many have given You more... I may not have much I can offer... Yet, what I have is truly Yours... I spend so much time going over in my mind all that I can't do. All that I used to do. I've been in mourning for the life I once had.

This year... I'm going to see what I can do.

10 comments:

Cheffie-Mom said...

I hope 2009 is full of blessings for you and your family.

Gladys said...

Hey CB I learned a couple of years ago to not look back. It's all about going forward. Here is wishing you a Happy and prosporous new year. Oh and FYI you have the cutest puppies!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

absolutely wonderful!!!!!! I do believe I will join you!

Just Me said...

Wonderfully said. I believe that 2009 will be a much better year for you.

Lucy said...

Right back at cha! Love and Happy New Year.

His Living Sacrifice said...

Amen, the altar of life. May we each do more this year. I pray God blesses you this coming year and thank him for blessing me with new friends like you.

Love and ((hugs)),

Debra W said...

KJ, Happy, happy New Year, dear heart! May the coming year bring you lots of health, love and joy with healing relationships.

I am so glad that we have met and become friend!

Hugs,
Debbie

Carol said...

You are a brave and beautiful child of God. I pray that 2009 is filled with God's blessings, and you find ways to cope with the SD, and treasure the many blessings God has placed in your life!! xoxoxox

Carol said...

PS I LOVE Third Day!

claudia said...

Happy New Year Sweetie! I wish peace and happiness for you in this new year!