Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Driving Lessons

I survived yet another wild ride home from school today. It was a miracle. No, really. My butt puckered during a certain inside left hand turn in which Double Shot came so close to the vehicle on our right that I was able to see the color of the driver's bulging eyes. I either heard his colorful word choice... or I've become very good at reading lips, I'm not sure which.

The day Chai Tea got her permit I let her drive around our neighborhood. I had already given her some lessons in a church parking lot (Is that illegal?). We were in our Expedition and she was cutting it pretty close to the cars parked along the curb. I told her to give them some more room and she told me that she wasn't going to drive in the middle of the road like me. I was also informed that she knew how to drive just fine given her vast go-cart experience. Things really did not go well... In fact, the car keys were thrown at me and she walked home in 20 degrees with no coat. Thank the good Lord that my mother-in-law is so laid back. Chai Tea spent 6 weeks with her in Ohio that summer and she took on the majority of Chai's vehicular operation instruction.

Frappacino was quite possibly the worst driver ever to take the wheel. She never had to walk home though. I could not bring myself to venture out of a nearby stadium parking lot with her. We went there many times. I finally got Mr. Macchiato to step in and take over. I still do not understand how she passed the driving test. Every time I'm in her car with her driving I have to remind myself that she needs prayer.

Double Shot... Oh my gosh is he aggressive. I had to constantly tell the girls to speed up and then turn around and tell them to slow down. Double Shot? No. It is slow down all the way. He sees what the speed limit is and feels that he needs to go 0 to whatever that number is in .05 seconds. He also seems to feel that a proper stop includes me being thrust forward and then slammed back against the seat. I won't even discuss what the seat belt does. Let's just say that I've taken to holding it out a bit so that there is some slack and I don't end up permanently disfigured by uneven badonkadonks.

I did take note today that, along with the butt puckers, every muscle in my body is tensed and my right foot is constantly pressing an imaginary brake. I've actually experienced a bit of muscle burn. It will be interesting to see if I end up with better muscle tone by next summer. I really could be onto something here... This, my friends, is how great ideas are born! I see an earth shaking and revolutionary shift coming to the exercise world...

6 comments:

Two Dogs said...

CB, you should thank God that you do not have Bean as a young-un. She had TWO wrecks in a week while I was in Oklahoma for Thanksgiving. She backed into a truck at work on Tuesday of last week and then hit a coyote on Saturday. Seriously, she is the worst driver to ever live in history. Count your blessings.

Angela said...

Oh my,,you got my giggling girl...Asher just turned 16 and well that means he can start going for his beginners. I just can't picture this child of mine driving. Randan, the oldest got his beginner's the day he turned 16...I STILL don't have my license,,LOL...lol....YOu want to teach me how to drive?? Randy taught me,,and I ended up failing,,he taught me all his bad habits,...((hugs))

Laura ~Peach~ said...

I hate riding with my son... he laughs at me when he catches me hitting the invisible brake... the boy knows one way and thats FAST perhaps that is why one or both of his vehicles are always broken down in our yard... he has wrecked several times... the first was not his fault he was rear ended.The night the volvo was flipped he was not even driving but, I am sure speeding was involved... his truck he says he was not driving that Stephanie was but... I am sure I will never know the truth... and this kid has taken POLICE training for driving oh did i mention he wrecked the police car too LOL... fast is all he knows...he did drive like a normal human in my truck day before yesterday though because I kept reminding him I had a can of gas in the back... I will PRAY alot for you ... gads I hate teen driving... perhaps that is part of why Martha still not allowed to drive... she actually did pretty good though when I was allowing her to drive and that was in the 5 speed!

Flea said...

Oh heavens no. My daughter will be in that seat soon, and my son next year. I am SO not going to be sitting next to them.

Just Me said...

Ah, yes... riding the imaginary brake. My mother ALWAYS did that no matter who was driving, and she wondered why she had a constant leg cramp in the car.

If it were simply a matter of letting mom drive, that would have been easy, but my mother LOATHED driving, and preferred to ride the brake in the passenger's seat rather than taking the wheel.

thislittlepiggy said...

Be careful. The calf muscles in your right leg will be more developed than the left. Unless you drive with two feet that is...

I think a church parking lot is a very good place to practice. ;o)

My 16 year old nephew got his learner's permit yesterday. His mom will go from blonde to gray in 0.5.