Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Blogaholic Tricks of the Trade

Because I am a housewife, these blogaholic tricks are limited to my experiences being home all day. Any working blogaholics should post their own tricks of the trade so that others may learn. We need to stick together. Blogaholics Unite!

It is best to shower and dress first thing. Be sure to take the time to look your best. I know there are days that only the pets see you, but it is best to be prepared for whatever life throws your way... the UPS man, a nosey neighbor, the Jehovah's Witnesses, or unexpected trips to the ER with loved ones.

Try to make good use of your time. You can easily be doing loads of laundry as you peruse through your favorite blogs. Set up a routine. Soon it will become second nature and you will hardly notice as your multi-tasking skills kick in and your productivity rises. Have set times in which you allow yourself to be on the computer. Realize that it is okay to not read every one's blog every day.

Use your computer time wisely and write your posts the day before. Use the post options. That is what they are there for. If you have a slow day... tuck some posts away in your drafts for those days when you just don't feel up to blogging or you have a busy morning ahead of you. Blogging need not be stressful! If you need a break take one. Your blog is whatever you want it to be.

However, if... say... you got in a little argument with your significant other the day before about how much time you are spending on the computer... and you get on the computer before taking a shower... and are horrified because even though you've been telling yourself you are going to get off... just. one. more. thing. And you are faint with hunger and look at the clock to discover it is 3 PM and you are STILL. IN. YOUR. JAMMIES. Here is what you need to do:

Quick! Run and take a shower! Make it quick! Forget things like shaving and lotion. There's not a lot of time.

Wear something you happen to know for a fact that your significant other likes on you. No sweats! Especially old worn out ones with holes in unmentionable places!

Flip your head upside down and dry your hair that way. You are going for the tousled look because it can be done quick. Flip your head up and shake it out... now spray it with loose hold spray. No heavy duty stuff today!

No time for full make-up. Little mascara... little color on the cheeks... and lip gloss.

DO NOT FORGET THE PERFUME!

Now, quickly tidy up. Make sure stuff that was lying around that morning is, at the very least, moved. You do not want the house to look exactly the same as it did when people left that morning.

Clean glass or shiny surfaces that have any smudges.

Light a candle.

Throw some food in a pot. Spaghetti is quick, easy and always a pleaser. Have already cooked and frozen meatballs on hand at all times! Garlic toast too!

When your beloved significant other arrives home... meet him at the door with a kiss.

Trust me.

18 comments:

Michelle said...

So what tricks do you have for someone who works 9 hour days, takes care of three dogs and has am exchange student that needs help with her homework? All of this cuts into my blog time. I am fortunate (for my blogging) that hubby is in Alabama with the military for 10 months. He won't notice that I am on the computer blogging when we are talking on the phone. Unless I say "Repeat that" too many times.

I like the idea of posting the night before. I do that most of the time. And I do have a couple of drafts in the works waiting for when I complete them.

When all else fails, steal someone elses subjects. But make sure it is from a blog that you found that is at least 3 times removed from you!

Thanks for the laugh this afternoon. Gotta get back to work.

Two Dogs said...

Lying for the betterment of a relationship is admirable. Ha.

Mabunny said...

Been there, done that!

Karen Deborah said...

hee hee hee, rriiiiiiight. I am in my jammies a lot. I have more jammies than clothes.
Loved this.
contest at my house, come enter.

Deborah said...

I've just finished a day of homeschooling a nine year old who is struggling with reading, (often being stumped by 3 letter words) and a 12 year old who says, "Too many numbers!!" when I try to teach him fractions. Thank you so much for the laugh...it's a much better stress reliever than banging my sons' heads together!

Brenda said...

LOL. I would NEVER do that. You can't see me so you don't KNOW.

jojo said...

you are wise beyond your years ;)

Flea said...

You're a bad girl, Coffee Bean! Heh.

Roland Hulme said...

YOU ARE THE CLEVEREST WOMAN EVER TO LIVE.

Although I twigged the meatball thing about two weeks ago.

Can you masculinerize this so I can follow it?

Ecolo said...

Love it!

Anonymous said...

How about a trick for someone too nervous to jump off the fence into blogherdom? I'd love to join the party!

Love both your blogs. They make me think while I'm chuckling. Thanks!

God Bless,

stlmom

Junebug said...

You are so right on, it's hilarious!

My Semblance of Sanity said...

Hi. My name is Michelle and I am a Blogaholic!

claudia said...

My kids are the only ones here to bust me and my blogaholicness. I just tell them I am researching something. I do a LOT of research!

Karen Deborah said...

you gotta come read CBW's entries at my contest. you'll die laughing

AirmanMom said...

Fun Post! This is my first visit to your blog, thanks to Michelle for suggesting a drive-by!
I'll be back!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Stephanie said...

LOL I need to go take a shower. I have been flipping through the 3 same over and over to see if anything is updated or commented on. I think my time could be spend better putting away clothes from our evac. Dang you for making a point.

Jody said...

You are good, there are somethings to be learned at the blog! Me and my girlfriend always said that if the bed was made and the dishes done the house looked clean, but yeah, you described a normal housewife day! I love it!