Friday, August 22, 2008

Things I Wish Hadn't Happened While Dropping Frappy off at College...

The wise and wonderful Mary of Keep the Light Shining said in the comments that maybe tomorrow I could do a Pollyanna post. Pollyanna is one of my two all time favorite movies and one of two movies that I will stop whatever I am doing to watch again if they are on, even though I've memorized both... the other is The Sound of Music. Here is the post she has up right now and it hit me between the eyes and then my heart.

I am Pollyanna-ing this post up! The good in each of the things I listed will be in bold italics underneath. Let "The Glad Game" begin!!!

I wish I hadn't been grumpy when packing up the cars.

I am glad it was a cool morning so we didn't get as sweaty as we would have if it had been hot!

I wish we hadn't left 2 hours later than planned.

I am glad we left two hours late instead of 3 hours late!

I wish we hadn't had to stop before we even got 15 minutes out of town so that I could take one of my contacs out, rinse it and put it back in.

I am glad I did not lose the contac when I dropped it on my lap!

I wish we hadn't had to stop again 45 minutes later so I could take my contacs out and wear my glasses instead. Brand new pair that I just put in that morning.

I am glad I did not forget to pack my glasses!

I wish I had tasted my Caramel Macchiato before we left the Starbucks after I took my contacs out because there was no caramel in it. None.

I am glad the extra bitterness of the Caramel-less Macchiato sharpened my senses and really woke me up and I didn't have a sugar crash later!

I wish I had not drippled my Non-Caramel Macchiato onto the leg of my jeans.

I am glad I did not spill the entire Non-Caramel Macchiato on my lap and I was only minimally burned!

I wish I did not have to see how my daughter drives without me in the car with her.

I am glad I am now certain that she is protected by an unseen force!

I wish that her dorm room was not on the third floor of a building with no elevator.

I am glad her dorm is not one of the dorms with 12 floors and no elevator!

I wish that she did not take so much stuff (although... after seeing what some other girls brought... including her roommate... she wasn't so bad).

I am glad that I burned many calories going up and down the stairs!

I wish that I did not steal Double Shot's new socks. He ruined all my socks and I got him new ones for the start of school. It seemed to me that they shrank an awful lot but it was an illusion. Those socks are meant for a man with the shoe sizes between 10-14. Double Shot is now a 13. So you know, socks that are too big like that bunch up in your shoe... and will actually give you a blister when you have to walk all day... everywhere... in a mad panic. Besides the fact that the feeling is right up there with having panties stuck in your crack.

I am glad that my panties were not stuck in my crack!

I wish people wouldn't pretend that they understand me. It is obvious they don't. This time my response to, "Oh! You sound horrible!" was, "I know." and to, "Are you sick?" was, "Yes."

I am glad that I live in a time with blogs and texting!

I wish that I hadn't been awakened by Mr. Macchiato at 10:30 pm to inform me that Frappacino was at her dorm FREAKING OUT. I had gone to my hotel and crashed and 9:30 pm. I wasn't even sure of where I was at first.

I am glad that I got one good solid hour of deep sleep!

I wish I hadn't had to get in my car and drive over to her dorm where she was out in the parking lot flipping out because the lights would not go out in her car... AND her Dad told her to flip something in the door, which she did, which caused the door to not be able to shut at all.

I am glad that I was still in town and could be there for her in her distress!

I wish I hadn't gotten calls from Mr. Macchiato while I was driving back to the dorm asking if I was there yet.

I am glad that Mr. Macchiato was concerned about our daughter!

I wish that when I got to my hotel... the one I insisted on staying at because it was half the price of the only other hotel with any vacancies near the college... that I didn't notice that it strangely resembled the hotel in some movie I saw that someone else in this house rented with Luke Wilson in it... that I watched because Luke Wilson is usually a COMEDIC actor. Not in this movie. It was a hotel where the guests were video taped while being murdered. Not my kind of movie.

I am glad that is was not a hotel run by murderers and that I survived my stay!

I wish that after sharing that with Mr. Macchiato and talking about what will happen if Frappy's car is not fixable... that he hadn't shared that someone got their head chopped off on a greyhound bus a couple of weeks ago and whoever did it ate part of it... while I was ALONE in a possibly PSYCHO HOTEL.

I am glad that he didn't tell me that there was a psycho lose in town that had a thing for fat, freckled, and sunburnt women that are almost 6 ft. tall and that the authorities thought he might be holed up in a hotel like the bad Luke Wilson movie!

I wish that I had told Mr. Macchiato that he was more than just a Rotten Rat Bastard for telling me that when I couldn't get to sleep until AFTER 1:30 am.

I am glad that I was finally able to fall asleep and get some rest!

I wish that I did not get up an hour late the next morning.

I am glad that I only overslept one hour!

I wish we didn't have to miss the second part of orientation because we had to take Frappy's car to a shop.

That is half a lie. I am glad that I missed my second part of orientation because... it was BORING the night before!

I wish Frappy and I didn't get into an argument because I was offended that she called her car a piece of crap. More than once.

I am glad that we are able to provide Frappy a car, even if it isn't new and perfect, and I am glad that someday she will feel bad about it!

I wish that I hadn't stolen two pairs of Double Shot's socks because that is all I had to wear and that with the blisters from the day before... was right up there with both sides of your panties in your crack or a thong that is two sizes two small. Not that I would know what that feels like.

I am, again, glad that no sides of my panties were in my crack!

I wish that I thought to use sunscreen.

I am glad that my sunburn was not severe!

I wish that my back brake light didn't go out and that I wasn't told so by Campus Police.

I am glad that the brake light was pointed out to me so I could get it fixed before being run down by a cement truck driver who was blind in his left eye and didn't see me!

I wish I wasn't so passive aggressive when Frappy asked me the name of the Governor of Colorado and told her it was John Ritter. (It is Bill Ritter and it irritated me that she didn't know. Now I feel bad because she may repeat that and look really dumb if she does. I might correct that... but then again... I might not. If you don't know who John Ritter is, like if you live in another country or something, he was an actor that died awhile back).

I am glad that I knew our Governor's name!

I wish we didn't go to Target, where 3,458,234 other college students and parents decided to go at the same time.

I am glad that I didn't fall on the floor into the fetal position and get carted off to the Looney Bin!

I wish I didn't about wreck my car whipping over to the side of the road because there was a bee by my boob and I couldn't get it off my shirt.

I am glad that the bee didn't sting me on my boob!

I wish the bee fell out of the car when I threw my door open.

I am glad... I am glad... oh boy. I am glad that the bee didn't sting me on my boob!

I wish the bee didn't go under my seat where I know it is still lying in wait for me.

I am glad that I have not seen it since... and that it did not sting me on my boob!

I wish that when I said goodbye to Frappy that it wasn't in a rush at the car shop because she had to get back to the dorm for a hall meeting.

I am glad that we got to hug and that she, hopefully, had enough time to get back to her hall in time!

We did get her moved in, car registered, bike registered, $64 worth of (hopefully) anti-theft gear and special night-time blinking reflectors (a decision made to purchase at midnight the night before after nearly running over several bike riders with inadequate reflectors) installed, student ID card made, books bought (gack... $602 and another book that will be around $150 that is not in), tours and orientation... all while in the midst of a pulsating throng of parents and students and long lines.

I am glad that we got everything we needed to done!

Special Thanks To:

The three Campus Police officers who crawled all over Frappy's car and finally figured out how to get her door to shut.

The tow truck guy who came out to see if he could figure out how to get her lights to shut off... got them to do so and then directed us to where to take the car in the morning... and didn't charge us anything.

Mr. Macchiato... who felt bad for being a Rat Bastard and prayed with me after freaking me out.

The auto shop that fixed Frappy's car (needed a new door switch and we got her windshield fluid pump fixed too) AND replaced my brake light bulb.


Junebug said...

Life comes at you kinda fast! I won't say I know how you feel but I know how I've felt in similar circumstances. You wish there was a "rewind" on life. A do it overs or not do it at all. Not possible though is it? I hope the rest of your week-end goes well.

Mabunny said...

OMG coffee. Sounds like you had the day and a half from hell. Glad it all worked out in the end...

Just Me said...

Oh, wow.

I am suffering some severe creepy-crawlies over the bee in the car.

It's amazing how one puny little insect can send grownups into near panic. My husband thinks I'm an idiot when I start puffing air furiously at anything stingy (trying to blow it away) near my car window. This always happens at a drive-through.

I'm glad you're home in one piece. It's time to start a 50/50 pool on how long it takes Frappy to call. 50% to the winner, 50% to Frappy.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

hugs prayers and I need a nap after all that!

Kathy said...

OK that was simply awful. I need three shots of whiskey in my coffee after going through all of that with you. Did you lay there with your head under the covers, real still, so you could hear if someone was breathing or moving in the hotel room woth you? Have you sprayed a can of insecticide under your car seat yet? I will NEVER tell someone they sound terrible if their voice is hoarse EVER AGAIN... I am ashamed that I have in the past. *HUGS*

Deborah said...

It didn't get much past the G.H. story...since it kept me awake at night for quite awhile...try living less than 10 miles from the could be worse though...there's home just off the highway where it happened...I wonder how those people are sleeping!?

Mary said...

I WISH I hadn't come over today 'cause I'm so tired now, I don't know if I will ever be the same!
Now then, since you have made it through the day, tomorrow play the Polyannna game. . . THAT should be interesting!

Seriously, I wish you a BEAUTIFUL tomorrow with smooth sailing!


Karen Deborah said...

how funny. The main thing is not to be wearing thong underwear, although I have heard they are comfortable, but, really. I'm so tired of seeing butts.
Pollyanna that!

Just Me said...

"I'm so tired of seeing butts.
Pollyanna that!"

Thank goodness you can still see.

Thank goodness autumn is around the corner and cooler weather will require more butt coverage.

Thank goodness you're seeing butts and not smelling them.

Brenda said...

Well, it was a rough trip. But I'm glad it went as well as it did. See. You're a good teacher.

Trisha said...

I love the Pollyanna post! It really helps to turn a bad day into a not-quite-so-bad day.

I am glad that Frappy is safe and sound and that you didn't get killed by a psycho killer. I would have missed you!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

OK that made me grin and felt alot like me
hugs Laura

Flea said...

You are too funny! The bee is dead, CB. Accept it and move on. :)

I've seen Sound of Music once, last summer. Pollyanna never at all. I'll have to head in your direction sometime for an all night marathon.

Chris H said...

HELLS BELLS am I glad you are OK (and ya boob)... and Frappy!

claudia said...


Mary said...

I loved your "glad game" with the "I Wish" list! And you showed us that in life there is always the negative and positive, side by side! We can be "glad" or we can "wish"!

I plan to send you an email a little later. . perhaps tomorrow or Monday.