Thursday, August 14, 2008

A Little Snippet from my Bad Sitcom Life

Uh... that blog break? Um... apparently I've totally given up on it. Well, on this blog. Here I didn't want to waste people's time by coming here to see if I've posted so I was nice and gave a date I'd be back. I can see by my numbers that most believed me. You, yes you, who kept checking anyway... you are BLOGAHOLICS. Welcome to my world.

Okay, so I am obviously not painting at the moment. I've got the Atomic Vomit walls primed. And yes, that is the official name of the color of paint that was on the walls. I didn't think to take a picture before I began but I did part way through. When I am all done I will post some pictures. So why am I not painting right now? Well... Since I am trying to get this project done and Double Shot has two a days... I decided good ole Frappy could have shuttling him around as a chore this week. She wasn't happy about it but, you know, when you've got a car, insurance and gas all paid for by Daddy... uh... once in awhile you can do ole Mom and Dad a favor, right?

Oh good Lord have mercy. On Monday she had plans with a friend and the running of the brother around but a little crimp in the timing. She still got to do what she wanted to do though. Tuesday she didn't complain and whittled things around so that she got to spend time with another friend AND go out with her boyfriend, Hot Chocolate that night. She was supposed to be home by 11 pm. She got home at 11:40 pm. Mr. Macchiato was exhausted and went up to bed before she got home. One or both of us stay up until everyone is home so when someone is out late and/or doesn't come home on time, it affects us. Yesterday she went shopping in between and was engrossed in some novel she bought. She did holler about having to drive him in the afternoon but it wasn't too bad. This morning... OH MY GOSH.

Oh, let me back up a tad. Last night, while I was rolling around on the floor in the room I am painting because of the fumes and because I was exhausted, Double Shot and Frappacino walked in. While I looked at them upside down, I was informed that Frappy had been pulled over by the police. She wasn't going to tell us because she did not get a ticket, but Double Shot made her. She was going 45 mph in our neighborhood on the way to the second football practice. She saw the squad car and slowed way down. The cop said she was going 35 mph... you are only supposed to go 25 mph. He told her it was a $100 fine and 4 points on your insurance record and that he was going to just give her a warning. Number one, and I told her this, she could kill some one's kid driving like that in the neighborhood! Number two, she would lose her good driver discount! Her reply? "UGGHHHHH... Whatever! I didn't get a ticket!" Good old Dad said, "If you lose your good driver discount you will have to pay your entire insurance bill each month." To which she says, "That's not gonna happen Dad!"

So back to this morning. It was time for Double Shot to leave. It takes a half an hour to get to the school. Last night he got there late because of the little pull over and he did not pre-treat for his asthma. He had to use his rescue inhaler and really struggled through the whole practice. He has to be careful with the timing of the pre-treat (two different inhalers and a total of 5 puffs... but each puff must be spaced a certain way). If he does it too soon it makes him feel sick. If he does it too late it doesn't work as well and he ends up needing a rescue. If it is timed right he's just like everyone else and doesn't have any problems breathing. He got anxious because it was time to go and she wasn't coming downstairs so he was hollering. She said she needed to put in her contacs and do her hair. I told her he needed to be on time and to wear her glasses She said that she'd gotten him there on time all the other days. Uhhhhhh... what? So it's okay to take him late today?

Things escalated back and forth and Frappy got to the point where I did not think it wise to have them be in the car together alone. So I clipped up my wet hair (think Pebbles from the Flintstones) and grabbed my keys. Double Shot's stuff was in her car so he hollered for her to open it. By this point I was in the driveway and Double shot was standing by her car on the street in front of the house. Just as a lady was walking in front of our house, Frappy opened up the door and threw her keys into the yard while she yelled, "Open it yourself IDIOT!" Sigh...

I did not know the lady. She was walking the most adorable 3 month old golden retriever. She looked at me and said, "Hey! I've got two of those at my house only they are both girls!" I smiled and she stopped when she got to me. I asked her what her puppy's name was and she said, "Charlie." And I got to pet him!!! As she was walking away she said, "They act like that so we can be glad when they leave home." I smiled and nodded my head. I was thinking... Lady, I think I am soooooooo already there.

It is four days until school starts. It is six days until I go up to Frappy's college with her and drop off all her stuff. It was just a couple weeks ago that I was freaking out and wondering how I was ever going to be able to drive away... Today... I think it might just be a slow roll by as I shove her stuff out on the curb.

Oh, and when I dropped Double Shot off he said, "Uh... just so you know, um, Frappy's car keys are on the roof of the house."

I did get to pet a puppy. That's a good thing, no?

16 comments:

thislittlepiggy said...

Would a hug help? HUG

Trisha said...

Isn't it nice to live in your own little soap opera? It sounds like you are really having a time of it - kids!

I had to laugh when I rea dthe line about Frappy's keys being on the roof! Too funny and such a payback. Karma!

I am dying to see the paint color called Atomic Vomit. It sounds . . . lovely!

Brenda said...

Ugh. Have I mentioned we have 4 teenagers right now? ICK. I do have the good fortune of having school start for the 3 boys. Youngest today. All 3 go tomorrow. Celebrate!!!!!!!!!!

Two Dogs said...

On the roof, that is awesome.

Sarah said...

Hi Coffee Bean! I read your captions for Flea's contest (they were hilarious!) and I had to check out your blog. I'm kind of a blogaholic that way...anyways, I don't have kids yet, but I want them. Ideally, I would have them, see them through grade school, and then the Lord would come back before the teenage years. Wrong to hope? :)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

LOl have mercy!!!!!
I went round 54398776245 with cory this morning... I am CONVINCED they act like imbecels so we will not be so lost and upset when they do GO ... Told him this am either stay home on a day off and put your Stuff away or move out NOW... am so tired of his mouth...
the girl seems to be in a much bette mind frame volley ball coach puts up with no baloney so I am sort of HOPFUL that things will come around with her!
BIG hugs Laura

Laura ~Peach~ said...

oh ya I did burst out laughing about the keys being on the roof and SARAH ... I pray for my teens to go to sleep at 13 and wake at 25... so far it has not happend!~
HUSG Laura

Angie said...

Oh, my. I'm sorry all these things happen to you--but thank you for sharing them with us! The car keys on the roof made me laugh and cringe at the same time.

Praying for you during your room re-do project.

claudia said...

I'm sorry...I laughed. I should not have done that, because I KNOW how you were feeling. But still, yes...a chuckle came out.
Oh sweet school time! I don't get that anymore, one's in college, but she lives at home and works part time. She's not the horrible one. The horrible one does nothing, but sit on her bu** and eats all day, and then complains cause there's no food in the house.
So I chuckled. Sorry! I'll come and paint for you!

Chris H said...

Ah the joys.... sure didn't come with a wee lable saying "I will turn into a teenage monster" did they? Hang in there , they do outgrow it eventaully mate. And cling to the memory of petting a wee puppy... they are nice and don't morph into little shits.

Flea said...

Girl, you crack me UP. Is there an early back program for Frappy?

MUD said...

A very smart man (no one in my family I might add) once said that when you want to hit one of the kids the the most is when they need to be hugged. Next time you get attitude ask frappy to come over and give her a hug and tell that she has your unconditional love but as a parent you feel compelled to react to bad behavior. Tell her that some day she will be out in the world and you will not be there to help and you just want her to be as prepared as she can be. You will find that it might take a few seconds to unstress yourself but if you want to be really prepared read Love and Logic by Jim Fay. It is also available through most school counselors on DVD. MUD

Just Me said...

Oh. My.

So who gets to fetch Frappy's car keys? I am nearly peeing myself laughing over that one, because I can SO see my children there in another -- ummm -- twelve years.

I well remember the constant bickering with my sister over her indentured service as my chauffer. Band practice, concert choir, school plays, ugh.

Kathy said...

I am so sorry to be laughing out loud over your misfortunes. But girlfriend, you have the gift of humor! I am the mom of two grown daughters aged only 2 years apart, and reading your blog brings back memories I thought had been buried and forgotten forever. *ugh* I'll have to work all day now to repress those memories once more.

Mabunny said...

LOL Coffee Bean, thats pretty funny. Also sounds fairly normal between DS and Frappy. Keys on the roof? bet she enjoyed that or did she yell to her dad to get them down??

Coffee Bean said...

The fact that anyone laughed about all that makes me feel better about it. I'm so glad someone who knows the deal was walking by. Someone who hasn't had kids yet or has little ones would have been horrified.

Flea, Frappy is already moving in early. Because she was off galavanting all over the world this summer, she couldn't go to any of the previews. They have one right before so she's going to that. We paid extra to move her in early. She's going to have to eat out for five days though because the dining hall doesn't open until the next week.

MUD, Most excellent advice. I'll pray I don't get stabbed to death by her quills.

MaBunny, Frappy got the ladder out when we were NOT HOME and climbed up there herself. I was planning on making Double Shot get them.