Monday, July 21, 2008


Okay... if you read this blog, you know that our oldest daughter is out on her own, our middle daughter is headed off to college in 4 weeks, and our son is going into the 10th grade. I've essentially been a stay at home Mom for over 20 years now. I have worked some part time jobs here and there and worked full time for a while in 1999. I did some freelance work last year. The problems with my voice are a real problem as far as trying to find a job. I need to be available to drive my son around this year... so I really can't get a "real job" just yet. So... I keep my eye out for positions at my son's school. I figure even if they pay peanuts... it's a couple more peanuts. I would be on the same schedule as he is and it would be some kind of experience doing something and maybe I could springboard into something else from there. I was looking through some openings the other day and came across this in the job description:


The following are some of the physical demands commonly associated with this position. They are included for informational purposes and are not all inclusive.

Frequent use of eye, hand and finger coordination enabling the use of equipment and writing utensils

Spends the majority of the time sitting and may stand, walk and drive

Frequently involved in oral and auditory interaction both interpersonally and through communication devices

First of all, I want to know who got the job of writing their job descriptions. Secondly, are you kidding me? What is wrong with saying it like it is?


The following are some of the physical demands commonly associated with this position. They are included for informational purposes and are not all inclusive (meaning we reserve the right to add to this list at anytime without warning).

You must be able to see, have opposable thumbs, and be able to type and write. (If you are blind, can't hold a pen or a pencil and write, or type... DO NOT APPLY)

Most of the time you will be sitting on your butt. Occasionally, you will need to stand, walk or drive. (If you don't like sitting, have chronic hemorrhoids, can't stand, walk or drive... DO NOT APPLY)

You need to be able to hear and talk to people in person and on the phone. (If you are deaf or deaf/mute... or you cannot speak clearly... DO NOT APPLY)

Obviously, it made me laugh... but annoyed me at the same time. What's with using that language to describe phone duties? I mean... come on people!


Flea said...

Bwahahaha! I want that job! Working for whatever moron wrote that description. :)

claudia said...

I think you should have the job of writing descriptions for the jobs. You explain it in plain language and cut to the point, why beat around the bush?

Angie said...

That is hilarious, CB.

The person who wrote that job description really needs to check out George Orwell's essay, Politics and the English Language--one of the best pieces I've ever read on writing clearly and in a "non-gobbledygook" manner!

Trisha said...

I think this whole political correctness stuff has gone too far - or whatever is motivating that kind of job description!

I liked your descriptions much better!

Mabunny said...

ROFLMAO! GOOD One Coffee Bean!

Just Me said...

Have you thought of proofreading? Proofreaders earn roughly 30 to 40 cents per page, which doesn't sound like much at first, but it adds up quickly.

Carin said...

Too funny. Yeah, that could be your new job, writing the ads for help wanted and job descriptions. I LOVED working at my sons school.

Sue said...

I think it's exactly what Trisha said, all about the "political correctness" of stuff. It really gets to a point that it's just ridiculous, doesn't it?

Laura ~Peach~ said...

good greif thats like the most insane job description i have ever seen...

jojo said...

I like your description better. :)

Mary said...

I love your sense of humor, whatever the problem!

Also, I am over a week late in thanking you for the Sharing the Love Award. Last week just about wiped me out emotionally!
Thank you so very much! And thank you for the comments you made about my blog!
I read it and thought, "Who, me?"

When you stated that you were once "Computer stupid, Lame" well, that is where I am now! I don't know how to link with other blogs. Perhaps in time I will learn.
Time? Ummmm. . I better not wait too long!

Alison said...

that is too funny!!

I have something for you...come over and see!!

Karen Deborah said...

I so like your rewrite better. Our politically correct jargon is so pervasive that we can no longer comprende the language. I was reading it, thinking what on earth kind of a job could that be? thanks for the translation.
Yours truly,..

Roland Hulme said...

Hilarious! Golly, it's scary to think people who wrote that are actually in the field of 'education.'

Two Dogs said...

Snark fits. Sarcasm is biting and wonderful.