Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Is it Wednesday?

I've been running around all morning thinking it was Tuesday. Double Shot informed me otherwise. I feel so discombooberated. I normally live by my day planner... but I don't know where it is. I haven't seen it since before we left on vacation. I am afraid it is somewhere in the storage area of our basement. Somebody, please, just. shoot. me.

I don't really have anything to blog about. I am feeling very stressed. Frappy leaves for college in three weeks. THREE WEEKS!!! Double Shot starts school in three weeks. THREE WEEKS!!! Wait... no... LESS THAN THAT!!! Seventeen Days until Double Shot goes back to school and nineteen days until we drop Frappy off... I'm hyperventilating... Where is my day planner?!?!?! I am having. a. PANIC. ATTACK.

I feel like my life is, all of a sudden, on a speeding freight train. I NEED my day planner... I NEED to make some lists... I NEED a brown paper bag!

Everything is happening too fast. I feel like I did on my wedding day... all the waiting and thinking about it... the preparing for it... and then I was walking down the aisle with my father and I felt like it was all going too fast. I remember standing before the pastor, next to Mr. Macchiato and thinking this is it... wait. wait. WAIT... this is happening too fast!!!

How can we be here? Already? Chai Tea is already living on her own. Frappy is leaving. In a matter of weeks only Double Shot will be home. I wasn't going to be one of those moms. I've always wanted my children to be independent and to fly away... I just didn't think it would happen so fast. I am one of those moms. You know... the ones who cry. I do NOT know how I am going to make it through the fall preview with her. I do NOT know how I am going to be able to get in my car and drive away.

It is all happening too fast.


Flea said...

I don't envy you even a little bit, CB. My oldest is 15, and I've always been the mom who teaches them to be independent. Always thinking it would be my husband who would try holding them back. Still thinking those things. But not looking forward to it all. I'll probably melt down. It's okay if we melt down, as long as we still let them go, right?

You'll be okay. You've weathered all the drama of the last year pretty well. Life hasn't ended. Your children are growing up. Growing up well. You're doing what God designed you to do. So are they. It's going to be alright. Really. Honest. :)

jojo said...

One of the hardest things i've ever done is drop my daughter off at college and drive away. Not only did I drive away, I then got on an airplane and few home. It didn't really hit me until after take-off and I bawled all the way back to Seattle. I didn't think I would be one of those mom's either :)

I hope you find you day-planner soon...sending paper bags your way ;)

Just Me said...

My babies are still very young, soon to be seven and five.

You'll do what you have to do simply because you MUST. There's no way around it.

Frappy is probably suffering her own pre-college jitters, and she'll probably have a heap of anxiety to contend with when you drive away.

Guess what? She'll be fine. She knows how to find you if she needs you, and she'll need you.

As long as she's a starving college student, she'll at least need money, and mom is only a phone call away.

Sheri said...

I would DIE if I lost my "book" as my friends call it! My whole life is in there! Oh, I feel your pain!

My best friend just had a baby girl yesterday . . . and we were talking Sun. night. She said, "I'm just realizing that EVERYTHING is going to be different . . . going shopping, going out to eat, all different." I pointed out that she had 9 months to ponder this, to which she said, "Yeah, but now it's HERE, and it's REAL!" Time flies, doesn't it? I mean, just last month we were studying for finals together!

Elysa said...

Kelly---I can SO relate! Oldest daughter just had her interview and found out that she's been accepted to go to Swaziland for a WHOLE MONTH next 1 week of training in my girl is soon to be flying off, too. And yes, though I'm turrbly proud of her, you KNOW I'll be crying!

AmusedMomma said...

Biggest hugs to you as you wade through this difficult part of motherhood. It's what we work all along for, but dread...

I know the Lord will sustain you, just as He has up to now.

You know my shoulder's available anytime...

Did you look in the trailer for the dayplanner?

noble pig said...

I haven't been able to get off this damn freight train for years now.

I keep yelling for it to slow down but it doesn't!

Chris H said...

You and I are totally opposite in this aspect of parenting! I couldn't wait for them to start leaving home... the worst thing is they keep coming back!

thislittlepiggy said...

Would a hug help? HUG

Roland Hulme said...

Best piece of advice I ever got given might be appropriate here: "The only way OUT is THROUGH."

You'll get through all the stress and look back at it with a mixture of pride and nausea in a few years!