Monday, July 7, 2008

Confessions of a Sidetracked Housewife

So... Today I wanted to get the house in order, laundry done and the bedroom I am going to paint taped. I did a little blogging and then got to it.

First, I took my thyroid medication. You are supposed to take it on an empty stomach with water. But I took it with a Diet Dr. Pepper. I thought I should check to see if not taking it with water and say... with Diet Dr. Pepper... if that would change its effectiveness. I went to look it up online but forgot to look it up. But I did look at some blogs.

I set the timer for 30 minutes because you have to wait 30 minutes to eat. And I was hungry and needed to make sure I did not wait 31 minutes. I ate. A sandwich. For breakfast. That was left over from the baseball tournament on Saturday. It wasn't that great.

I then decided the most prudent course of action would be to start the laundry. I had told Frappy the other day to clean the washer and she did... kind of. I looked down into the thingy that you pour the fabric softener into and it was gunky. I decided to clean it. To my horror, that part came loose and I pulled it out... only to discover a disgusting gunked up mess. I then spent a good bit of time trying to figure out how to clean it. It included a toothbrush... my toothbrush because I couldn't find the toothbrushes I usually use for such nasty jobs. Mr. Macchiato finds them and throws them away. I gagged a lot and thought I was going to lose my sandwich more than once. I then took a bunch of pictures that I thought I might put on the blog but they didn't pick up what I wanted them to. Then, I finally started a load of towels.

I had put Booper and Lu Lu in their crates after feeding and watering them and letting them run around. Booper and Lu Lu are not conducive to cleaning. Especially Booper. I walked by his crate and he looked at me sadly. I stopped to tell him I need to clean. He smiled at me and wagged his tail because he thought I was saying, "I love you." So, I let him out and rubbed his belly and scratched his ears and told him I loved him. Then I let Lu Lu out and rubbed her belly and scratched her ears and told her I love her and that I love her as much as Booper. But, that was a lie. Poor Lu Lu. It's okay. Mr. Macchiato loves her more than Benny. He says I love Benny more than him. But I don't. No, I really don't. Then I put them back in their crates.

I then noticed that it is chilly this morning. We even have had sprinkles off and on. I thought I should check the weather on the computer. So, I did. And I read a blog. Our high is only going to be 76 today but our house is usually a little cooler than the predicted temp. I wondered what happened to our outside thermometer so that I could verify that that is actually true. And... I decided it is cool enough for me to bake some cookies. And I shut the laptop and turned on the oven to preheat.

My kitchen was a mess so I emptied the dishwasher and loaded it. I noticed the silverware is not as clean as I like so I dumped it all into the sink and filled it with the hottest water from the tap and dish soap. I then filled the kettle with water and once it boiled...dumped it in the water. That way it could all get a good soak. Then I stared at the mess on my stove top. The other day Frappacino decided to roast marshmallows over the heated element on my glass top stove. No, I wasn't staring at hardened marshmallow that fell... I was staring at melted plastic from the loaf of bread that Double Shot then turned around and set on top of the stove after Frappy had made her little treat and the element was still hot. I considered my options. I thought maybe I should get online to look up how to clean such a thing. But I didn't. I got out a little plastic pampered chef thingy that you use to clean up pampered chef stone stuff. I looked it over and thought...hmmmmm maybe this will work. I then scraped this way and that way, slow and then fast and then from different directions. It worked. I stood there and thought to myself how smart I am.

I then opened the fridge and made sure everything was facing label out. Someone opened a new box of butter when there was one already opened. They were not the same brands so I couldn't put the one stick in with the other box. And that someone, whoever it was, made the box ugly. So, I took all the sticks of butter out of both boxes. I noted to myself that we must use the odd shaped stick of butter first because it does not look nice with the other sticks of butter.

The buzzer on the washer went off so I went and put those towels into the dryer and put in another load of towels. Then I stood and looked at my laundry and realized that I will have to wash three loads of just towels today. Just towels.

I went into my son's room to look around and visualize my new office. He was still asleep on the couch. Guess what? It is noon and he is still asleep on the couch. Why am I letting him sleep so late? Well, I'm doing stuff and I haven't showered yet and well... I don't want to put on a bra yet. But, when I am done here I am going to shower and he will have to get up.

Did I tell y'all I am making cookies? Yeah... good ones. White chocolate macadamia ones. I was going to start back on a diet today, because it is Monday, but... Double Shot's birthday is on Thursday. So, I guess I'll start back on Friday. But, it will be Friday so... maybe next Monday. We'll see how it goes.

I was clearing the dining room table. It was covered with all of my loose leaf teas. They'd been there since Friday when Chai Tea came over and we went through my tea to see which ones she wanted. I have a lot of tea. I like tea. I actually like tea more than coffee. Especially fancy loose leaf tea that costs a lot. But, I like coffee too and because Mr. Macchiato prefers coffee I usually drink that. But, since I am going to go back on a diet, I am going to switch back to tea. That is because I drink tea naked. Not naked... I may go without a bra if no one is around but never without clothes. I mean I don't put anything in my tea. I put lots of junk in my coffee. You can't do that on a diet. Anyway, I saw Frappy's gas card on my china cabinet and remembered that when Mr. Macchiato took her car for an oil change yesterday that he found it just sitting in her console. Naked. Where anyone could see it. And next to it was a key to the house. He wasn't happy. I then thought... hmmmmm... I should get online and look at her bank account (I'm on it so we can just transfer money from our account to hers while she is in college) to see if she's really keeping track of things and to see if she really hasn't used the credit card she got for emergencies... and to see if she's used any money from savings. I went to get my passwords but just stood looking at them. Just yesterday, Mr. Macchiato was saying that some things kids just need to learn themselves... like the need to balance their checkbooks and not running up credit card debt. She's been given a bit of rope... enough to hang herself short term but not long term. I put the passwords back.

I then smelled a lot of my teas.

Then I made some coffee. Because coffee goes better with fresh baked cookies.

Then I decided to brush my teeth. I brush my teeth a lot. Only, I used my toothbrush to clean the gunky washer. I thought I had another new one still in its package. But, I couldn't find it. I can't wait to go to the store to get another toothbrush... or keep looking for the new one... because I've got stuff to do. So I used Mr. Macchiato's toothbrush. But, don't tell him because that will gross him out. It grosses me out too... but not as much as not brushing my teeth.

Then I scrubbed all the silverware and put it in the dishwasher. So it will be sterilized. And I cleaned the silverware organizer because there were crumbs in it. But, I didn't turn the dishwasher on because I've been washing towels and I want to have some hot water for my shower. And then I was going to go get in the shower... but I am baking cookies... so I thought I'd get online. I've had talk radio on and thought maybe I should go look up some stuff I heard about... or write another blog post. A dumb blog post about how I am getting so much stuff done and in such a timely manner.

I am going to take a shower now. No, I really am. And then I am going to turn off the talk radio and put on some Daughtry. Love me some Daughtry. When I get out of the shower I am going to wake up my son and give him a list of chores. When he starts whining I will dangle the you can have a friend spend the night carrot. Well, that's not true. I will take a shower, get dressed with the inclusion of a bra and then spend 30 minutes blow drying my hair. Then I will wake him up. And... I will get out my handy dandy timer and play beat the timer with myself and really get some stuff done. I will. I'll come back later and tell you everything I got done.

So, since you are reading my blog... what are you being sidetracked from?

Hey, guess what? I just learned something! You spell conducive with a "c", not an "s." Who says blogging is a waste of time?


Natalie said...

OMG! You TOTALLY just glossed over that little bit about Friday! I'll assume that's because it was a good visit and you don't want to curse it. Good progress if that's true and a big hug for you!

Anonymous said...

Surprise, surprise, I should be cleaning, but I'm not....
I LOVED this post! I thought I was the only one who has days like this....

Just Me said...

Oh, please please. I can't stop laughing.

I see myself in your post! I really do!

I've learned that the thing needing a timer ration is THE COMPUTER.

The bummer of this idea (for me) is that I do my work on my computer.

I'm trudgina through a transcript when I come across an unfamiliar term or some such thing, and I need to verify its formatting and spelling. Maybe it's something like "triangular fibrocartilage complex" or to make sure it's 7-Eleven and not 7-11.

I pop into the Internet with every intention of Googling what I need, but my home page is my favorite message board and something catches my eye and then something else and next thing you know I'm poking around on YouTube and visiting blogs and an hour has gone by.

Kind of like now.

I drink my coffee and my tea naked. I dated a tea lover a few years before I met The Oracle, and he was also a big fan of expensive loose teas. Tea brewing was an art to him. My favorite tea of his was a lemon and clove thing whose brand I don't remember, but it was really good.

Back to work!

Mr. Macchiato said...

You are neurotic or ADD (I can't decide which). Looking forward to the cookies and clean silverware drawer..

Karen Deborah said...

ok alrighty then, good job on the stove mess. Sidetracked? Me get side tracked? Never, um what have I done today? not much, a lot of errands and now I'm fixing to go start drinking golytely for my little proceedure tomorrow and spend the rest of the day poopin. Maybe I'll have a good story for ya.

April said...

I have the same ADD. Over the weekend I lost one of our house phones. I found it this morning in the pantry. I tend to just put stuff down where ever I am and walk away.

ANd I hate cleaning the fabric softener thingie. What is all that stuff? It's so gross and slimey and must be toxic.

And guess what else? I LOVE the pampered chef stone scrapers! I use them for EVERYTHING!! I always order extras. I have them all over the place. Greatest invention ever!!

Loved this post. So glad to know I am normal. Or at least not alone AND un-normal. :)

AmusedMomma said...

This is so funny! I can actually see you puttering about your house doing all this... well, except for the braless thing, as I've not been privy to that although we are friends. :-)

So, instead of blogging, I was working and then took a break and wrote a long email letter to YOU, which I'm hoping you'll answer sometime when you're on the computer!

So there...

And... some day when I'm visiting you I'm going to mess up your labels forward in the cupboards AND the fridge -- just to mess with your mind a bit! I'm such a nice friend, huh?

Sue said...

I loved this post! I'm thinking that maybe you and I are twins separated at birth. I do the same kinds of things, everyday! I'll get going on one thing, get sidetracked, get going on 15 other things, before I remember what I originally got sidetracked from! All the while, nothing ever really gets finished, except for cookies, and chocolate, of course. I'm great at finishing those types of things.

My hubby will call me "Bruno" because a long time ago on the DIY network there was a show about this guy named Bruno that was remodeling his house and he kept starting new projects and never finishing the others. It took him something like 16 years to finally finish the house! That, seriously, could be me.

I guess I'd better go...I've been meaning to pay my bills online all day, and now I just realized that it's too late for them to get processed today...maybe I should go check the pool for chlorine first, I mean now that it's too late for the bank anyway...oh, and I'd better pick up the dog poop on my way to the pool pump....and....and....

Debra W said...


You are so funny. I'm all alone at our beach house, and I am playing on the laptop when I should be gazing out at the Pacific. Actually, I should be folding the 147 towels that my family and our friends used this weekend, but I'm not. Not yet, anyway...I think I will go gaze out at the ocean.


Trisha said...

Too funny! This had me laughing out loud - not an easy thing to do! It sounds so much like me. Well, except for the butter thing. I don't care if I mix brands of butter and we keep all of our butter except for one stick which we are currently using in the freezer.

I am jealous of your weather! It was about 97 here today. Maybe higher. I just block it out when it gets above 90.

Alison said...

well I am pooped just reading this...I think you have done enough today!!! you should just rest now.

Just Me said...

On the fabric-softener thingie, I got sick of cleaning it out. It got so disgusting that The Oracle wisely decided to throw it the heck out. N-a-s-t-y.

I bought a box of dryer sheets and never looked back. Do they work as well as the liquid stuff? Not really, but they do enough in keeping the static out of my clothes and the scratchiness out of Precious Daughter's school uniforms, so that's good enough for me.

jojo said...

Oh how this post hit home for me ;) And now it's tuesday and I have to start all over again.

Found my way here from the Wwow. You are funny girl, i'll definately be back!

Been taking thyroid meds for 10years and had no idea you were supposed to take them on an empty stomach...whoops.

Chris H said...

bloody hell, I was tired BEFORE I read your blog... now I'm exhausted! go have ya bloody shower girl, leave the boy on the couch, buy a new toothbrush and just chill out would ya!!! LOL Oh and send me a cookie.

RANGER said...

You definitely pulled me in with this one. How efficient, I thought, unlike me. The farther I read, the more you sounded like someone extremely familiar.

I am capable of doing the same thing with books. I will have three or four started in various stages and then the library will let me know they are holding just the one I have been waiting for. So I will, perhaps, leave the towels (poor laundry) in the dryer to spin to perdition while I run out, just for a while. And visit the grocery store while I am nearby . . .

Karen Deborah said...

Are we all painting? Trying to paint? Thinking about chores and turning on the computer? Is this contagious?