Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans, Coffee, and No Doz

Ranger had a post yesterday that got me thinking...

Way back when, I was a student at Bellevue Community College in Bellevue, WA. During my first year there I took an Economics course. We were required to read the Wall Street Journal every day in addition to the regular course work. I was dating Mr. Macchiato who was going to Central Washington University in Ellensburg, WA, which was two hours away. He would come home as often as he could so that we could hang out. I also had a job at a hardware store called Ernst. Whenever Mr. Macchiato came home for the weekend or I worked a lot of hours, I would fall behind in my WSJ reading. The professor would always include a question or two solely from the recent WSJ articles so it was important to actually read it.

Mr. Macchiato came home one weekend and I knew I needed to do my homework, but I spent the time with him instead. We were in love. I had a test coming up and was really feeling the pressure. I managed to get everything done except for the reading of the WSJ. I decided to pull an all nighter after working until 9 pm at Ernst. I've always been more of a morning person so the thought of staying up all night was more than daunting. I had never taken No Doz before but I bought a box. I also bought a small bag of chocolate covered espresso beans. I was living at home and didn't want my parents to know that I was planning on staying up all night so I also made a thermos of coffee that I dumped several packets of hot chocolate into. I crawled into my bed with all of my WSJ papers surrounding me and started to read. Whenever my eyes would begin to droop, I would eat a couple espresso beans and chug a bit of the hot chocolate coffee. As dawn broke I popped some No Doz.

I was feeling very nauseous when I took my shower. I had to push through it though because I had to make that exam. I ended up having to wear a skirt because all of my pants were dirty. And for your information, if you ever see me in a dress it is a pretty good bet it is because my pants are all dirty. It was a very cold day so I also wore my calf length, puffy, and dark purple Darth Vaderish coat. I did not have a car so I rode the city bus. There was a bus stop right in front of my parent's house. A friend of mine also rode the bus and went to BCC. She was an exchange student from Japan and she ended up marrying Mr. Macchiato's roommate. She got on the bus a few stops before me and we always sat together and she would teach me to say things in Japanese. I can still say, "Fall is a beautiful season," but that is all. Anyway, she was there and I sat next to her and she told me I didn't look good. Thanks.

We had to transfer to another bus to get to BCC from that bus. It was always such a pain because it took so long. While we were waiting for the second bus I really started feeling sick. It was very cold, near freezing, and windy. When we got on the bus it had to be 90 degrees inside. This bus was always packed and we made our way to some empty seats in the back. I knew immediately that I was in trouble. It was just way too warm in there. I tried to open the window a crack but it wouldn't budge. My friend was concerned and kept telling me that I didn't look right.

I was going to throw up. The thought of throwing up on a bus packed with people caused me to panic. I thought... if I could just breathe deep enough that it would pass. I broke out in a cold sweat and started to shake. I kept telling myself to just breathe. The girl sitting in front of me, with very large brown eyes, kept turning around to look at me. Without realizing it I had begun to hyperventilate. Then... all of a sudden... my muscles seized up and my arms were stuck up against my chest with my hands curled out to the side under my chin and my legs were risen up toward my body and I couldn't move. This caused me to breathe even harder and faster. People around me started freaking out and the bus driver pulled the bus over and called an ambulance.

I wanted to just die. Right then.

The ambulance got there and a hunky paramedic (I was an EMT and wanted to be a paramedic myself... but that is a story for another day) and EMT got on the bus and carried me off. They put me on a gurney right there on the side of the road with all sorts of rush hour traffic zooming by. I could not straighten my body out so that cold wind was blowing my skirt up and giving the entire bus a great shot of my panties.

I was taken to the hospital ER and all kinds of tests were run. Verdict? I OD'd on caffeine and hyperventilated. The lack of oxygen is what caused my muscles to seize up like that. Oh, I was also sick but I can't remember with what.

My professor did allow me to take the exam another day. He didn't even need to see my note from the doctor. Apparently, I was the topic of conversation that day and he knew what had happened already.

Have a great day everyone!

10 comments:

Brenda said...

Some people will do anything to get out of a test ; ) Seriously though, I bet it was scary at the time.

RANGER said...

Thanks for the link.

You did not tell us what your parents said. Oh, but one can guess. After that experience, you drank coffee again? Courage.

Karen Deborah said...

The good news is, you did not have a coronary, you did not have a stroke, and there were no cell phones with cameras in those days!
More good news no evidence of the panties with the skirt up. You reminded me of a pretty funny rescue story of myself, will save it for tomorrow.

Coffee Bean said...

Well Ranger...

I don't remember what my Dad had to say... but... My mom flung the curtain aside in the ER and the first thing out of her mouth was to demand to know if I was pregnant. I wasn't. I was just real dumb and got pregnant later.

Kathy said...

WOW, you wild thing!

MUD said...

I was never able to pull all nighters. I was way better off to read a little and get some sleep. MUD

Flea said...

Too funny! Didn't we all do that in college? Well, not the actual ODing on caffeine part. Jolt Cola came out when I was in college, so that, combined with lots of coffee, ensured I had an exhausted body but couldn't sleep for two days. Only once. You, girl, were very fortunate to have gotten off so easily. Just think if you'd been wearing a thong. (Did I just say that?)

Ness said...

I meant to comment the other day but my mind has gone out to sea. Right before my cancer diagnosis I was diagnosed with spastic dysphonia but I don't know what type it was. There are moments I open my mouth to speak and nothing is there. Other times if I say more than a few words at a time, I feel like I just got done yelling my lungs out at a junior high pep rally! Hugs to you as you continue on this journey.

thislittlepiggy said...

Were they the ratty wash day underpants? LOL.

Angie said...

Yikes--I didn't know a person could OD on caffeine.

By the way, I have a shout-out about you at my blog, with a link to some "SD humor" I wrote...