Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Another Contest!

mabunny of Able's Antics is having a contest to celebrate her 100th post! She is going to make a lap afghan in the winner's color of choice. Wow! That is a pretty cool prize! She is looking for funny wedding stories. I've already posted two from weddings that I was in, one as a Bridesmaid and the other as the Maid of Honor. Head on over and check them out!

Editing to add: I went over to mabunny's to see if she approved my entries and was mortified to see many mistakes. Oy! I decided to clean them up and post them here too. Y'all should go read the other entries she's gotten!

Entry #1

Both my husband and I were in our friends' wedding. My husband was the Best Man and I was a Bridesmaid. The Bride wore white and the Groom wore a traditional black and white tux. My husband and the other groomsmen wore grey tuxes with peach colored cumber buns. The maid of honor and the rest of us bridesmaids wore royal blue, short, ruffled, strapless, Hoochie MaMa dresses with black satin bordello jackets that the Groom's mother made and insisted we wore because she said that our dresses were too revealing. We got the dresses at JC Penney and one of the girls absolutely did not have the figure for that kind of dress... but it was what the Bride wanted. As we walked down the aisle you would not believe the looks of horror on the faces of all the guests. Only the Bride and Groom thought those colors matched. They also ran out of food at the reception and none of us in the wedding party got anything to eat.

That was 20 years ago and they are still married. Interestingly, I think their common odd taste has helped. One year they made me a birthday cake. Lemon with chocolate frosting. No joke. They ate it up.

Entry #2

I was the Maid of Honor in a wedding that I had to fly to another state for. I had to send my measurements to the Bride which she then gave to the dressmaker. I got into town and rented a car a couple of days before the wedding. I immediately went to the dressmaker's shop to get my dress. It was rush hour and the shop was in Pomona, CA. I got there just before they were going to leave and tried on my dress. The ugliest dress I have ever seen in my whole life. It was dark green satin, a cross between evergreen and army green. It had a wide band with a big bow right under and between the ta ta's. Coming out of that band was great amounts of some chiffony light mossy green material that went around the sides and back of the dress. Horrendous.

I laughed to myself. What can you do? There are bridesmaid dress jokes for a reason. I put the dress on. HOLY COW. There was literally six inches between each side of the zipper. I stood there in utter shock. I called the dressmaker in. There was much going back and forth... there was no way to make the dress fit and the wedding was in TWO days!!! She had to make me a whole new dress. Do you understand what that means? I had to pay for TWO OF THE UGLIEST DRESSES EVER!!!

When I went to pick up the Fatty Mc Fat Fat dress, I tried it on and it was too long. Only there was no time to change that. I am 5'11". That dress was made for the Jolly Green Giant! And that is exactly what I looked like in it. And I stepped on that dress and tripped around in it throughout the wedding and reception.Was that the end of my embarrassment? No, of course not.

I was honored to be asked to be the Maid of Honor and very much glad to do it. However, the Bride's best friend from the time she was in high school was pretty offended. She had it in for me. She was more than happy to announce loudly every so often, like at the top of each hour, that I had to have a second dress made because I was too FAT for the first one. Fortunately for me, she only made herself look tacky. She was wearing the same ugly dress too and hers was too tight. Seems she should have had a second one made for herself. (yeah, Hiss Hiss)

Well, they served a sit down dinner and the Bride and Groom were seated with the entire wedding party at a very long table overlooking all of the guest tables. There were place cards with our names on them and mine was placed next to the Bride's. As I was going to sit down, the Bride's BFF switched the place cards and then shoved in between the Bride and myself, causing me to lose my footing and step on my dress, ripping it... while many of the guests looked on. The Bride told her psycho BFF that I was supposed to sit there but I told her not to worry about it as I felt the BFF was going to make a scene.

Oh... and psycho BFF wanted to dance with the Bride, causing a bit of a scene on the dance floor later in the evening.

Sadly, several years later, I found a mystery roll of film and ran off to get it developed. It was of pictures from that wedding that I had not realized were missing because I had taken several rolls. They were already divorced.

4 comments:

Mabunny said...

Thanks for the shout out coffee!
And the kind words you left touched me, so thank you for giving me advice and encouragement with my problem.

If you don't win the contest , we can sill talk about your lapghan:))

Flea said...

Oh ouch on that last tale. Ouch.

Brenda said...

I like the first one best. I love the way you ended it. They are both good stories though. I have no funny stories I can think of....maybe they were too long ago.

Karen Deborah said...

I still can't believe you bought 2 ugly dresses. I never was a bridesmaid for anybody, guess I didn't miss out on anything! How about the dresses on My Big Fat Greek Wedding! Now thos ruffled jobs were hoochie dresses.
We're getting hit with another storm.