Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? I do. In fact, I've spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I guess if I were to lay out all the reasons why I feel sorry for myself, you'd feel sorry for me too. But... you know what? Feeling sorry for myself hasn't helped me or my situation one little bit.
The other day I got the April issue of the little Focus on the Family magazine. There is a short article in there by Erik Johnson titled Driving Yourself Crazy that really spoke to me. It's about who's managing your emotions - you or your circumstances? Ummmmm... Gee, I would definitely say my circumstances at the moment! He quoted Solomon, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7, NKJV). Soooo... circumstance don't cause my emotions, my thoughts about my circumstances do? Oy. He had another example in there about being served in a restaurant and being happy if he was served in 10 minutes if they said it would take 20, but being upset if he were served in 10 minutes if they said it would take 3. His expectations determined his response. Hmmmmmmm. He then quoted Paul from 2 Corinthians 10:5, "We take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." All right, all right, I'm sufficiently convicted by a little article I wasn't expecting to hit me between the eyes. Thanks a lot FOF.
Well, my expectations are definitely not my reality. I could really think about it and teach myself to have no expectations at all. That really might help. But, hey, what if I make my expectations so horrible that I am continually awed by how much better my life is? You know... I could really be on to something here! Hmmmm. Let's see... I could expect to gain 20 lbs. when I eat something I shouldn't and then be overjoyed with gratitude when I only gain 5. I'm just kidding but... what if?
Okay, so I am responsible for my emotions. This could go either way. I could add this to my list of reasons why I feel sorry for myself or... I can make a change. I'm not where I can say I'm happy about things or see the blessings in them (as if!) but maybe I can move myself in the right direction.
And, by the way, Mr. Macchiato has said similar things to me that were stated in the article. That did not go over well. Not at all. Why is that? What can I learn from that? I'm thinking... next time I need to teach him a thing or two that I should find a short little article about it and place it near the toilet... hiding the newspaper and sports magazines first, of course. What? I should consider the wisdom of my husband and listen to him more readily? Naw, that's not how I roll.